Weaned

It is with mixed emotions that I can report Luci is, for the most part, weaned. Over the last 3 or 4 weeks I've been cutting out a feeding every few days...and then I cut to down to just morning & night. I nursed her Sunday morning, and then again tonight while I counted to 100 on each side...knowing it will be our last session...trying to stop myself from crying. Since before she was born my nursing goal was to make it 6 months. In the first 3 weeks I wanted to quit every single minute. For the next 9 weeks I wanted to quit every morning at 4am when I woke up so engorged I had to pump...even though my sweet baby was sleeping...I couldn't sleep because I hurt so bad. Then around week 12 everything got easier...just like everyone said it would. And 12 weeks to 6 months flew by...and now I'm not so sure that I want to stop. In fact, I'm pretty sure right this minute I don't want to stop. But I know the reason I want to continue is not because I'm anti-formula, but because I want her to keep needing me...I kind of want her to stay dependent on me. And I think that is probably a bit unhealthy...so I'm stickin with my plan...despite some tears (mine). The worse part is that I know this is just the first of many steps of independence...I hope it gets easier.