winds of change

so it looks like it is really going to happen this time...a CAL/UAL merger! looking more & more likely with every article!

it makes my stomach jump with anxiety & excitement all at the same time. when i met clay & found out he was a pilot for a regional i naively suggested he just get a job at united so we could stay in chicago. ha. what an education i was in for. at the time i thought he was delusional...working for what i considered to be pennies, living in what i considered to be near squalor considering his education & capabilities - all while shouldering the incredible responsibility of keeping himself & others safe while zooming through the sky. commercial flying jobs for the major airlines are nearly impossible to come by these days. the fact that he got hired by CAL shortly after they started hiring for the first time since before 9/11 was nothing short of remarkable.

so given all of that, we've tried not to be down in the dumps that the available bases (aka easiest places to live) were houston, cleveland & newark. we took a leap of faith, moved here, and i love everything but the weather, bugs & distance from family. i love my friends, i love my house & our 'hood, i love my doctors, i love the parks, paths & pools, i love that chick-fil-a & a grocery & walgreens & baskin robins & papajohns are all 2 blocks from my house, i love the pre-school lulu will again attend this fall...i love it all. and i do mean love. this is the birthplace of our family. i've lived lots of places, but i've never been a mama anywhere else. and i know with 100% certainty that i'm a better mama for having been surrounded by my new circle of friends during this most important time in my life. thinking of leaving these women & this place gives me what clay would call 'icy ball' in the pit of my stomach.

until i go outside that is. as soon as i step outside i'm trapped under a hot wet blanket with nothing but a million mosquitoes. the heat melts away that icy ball and then i think...ah! the new possibilities!

the new possibilities make my heart race with excitement!! united's bases are denver, chicago, los angeles, san fran, and dc! seriously! i've always loved chicago, clay loves dc (& we met there), clay's always wanted to live in denver, and the scenery & weather in cali is hard to beat. it seems to me it'll be hard to go too wrong. as luce would say, "which you pick mom, which you pick?"

which we pick indeed! of course it'll be awhile. probably 2-3 years before everything is finalized, changes are made & fences come down (making employees free to move). as long as clay doesn't get furloughed as a result of the merger we are hopeful that this will ultimately be great for our fam. and luckily for me when that icy ball creeps up between now & november all i have to do is step outside.

and just for kicks, some photos of my favorite girl at gus' 4 month photo shoot :)

Gus @ 4 months

Can you believe this baby is 4 months old today? On one hand I can't believe he's already 4 months...no longer a newborn...firmly into just plain baby territory. On the other hand I can't believe its only been 4 months, as it seems like he's been apart of our family forever. Seems like FOREVER ago that it was just the three of us.

Stats at 4 months:
weight: 16lbs 13oz; 75th-90th percentile
height: 26.5 inches; 90-95th percentile
head circumference: 16.75 inches; 50-75th percentile

Some notes at 4 months....
-size 3 diapers and 12 month clothes...yes, 12 month. I bought & returned a 6-12 month swim suit for him...and now I think maybe I should have bought 18-24mo instead of the 12-18mo.
-he's figured out his mouth, but still has trouble coordinating his hands to get objects into the mouth
-he swings & grabs at toys floating above him
-he is still swaddled at night but he fights like the dickens to get out. and usually he wins. then we all lose cause he wakes up inconsolable like somebody just punched him the eye while he was sleeping for no reason (cause that is what he does to himself). the crib has been rigged with quite the set up for a reflux baby...head elevated, sleep positioner, boppy to catch him from falling down to the bottom of the crib...and just this week I've lowered the mattress & taken all but the sleep positioner out. i tried just a sleep sack one night and it was HORRIBLE (no sleep...I mean literally no more than 20-30 minutes of sleep at a time). now my plan is to do a week like this and have him get used to the change in mattress & no boppy, and then next week take out the sleep positioner. and finally, when i have no choice because he won't stay in the miracle blanket, we'll go to the sleep sack. i hope he gives me a few weeks to make the transition.
-positive statement: gus' part of the brain that controls sleep rhythms is maturing slowly. how i really feel: his sleep SUCKS. our sleep routine is short, simple & to the point. diaper change, swaddle, sing a song & rock, 2 kisses, in bed. 85% of the time he falls asleep easily without any tears. the other 15% of the time i go in after 5 minutes of crying, give him the paci, and then he falls asleep. the problem is not so much falling asleep (he's great at that), it is staying asleep, or putting himself back to sleep if he wakes up. during the day i race in with the paci, which is probably contributing to the problem. but if he doesn't get consolidated sleep, luci & i are stuck in the house all day cause he needs to nap again like an hour after he gets up. and that is no good for luci. so i guess this is the lesser of the evils?!?!?!
-he found his feet in the last few weeks. he likes them. he likes to clap them together as if they were hands (see previous post)
-he LOVES to be talked to. he'll talk back, pretty much without fail.
-he giggles, but not very often. he is happy & will smile all the time, but a true giggle is hard to come by. i hear clara gets the most ;)
-he loves to have his cheeks & belly kissed
-his schedule is varied, but usually goes something like this...wakes between 1a and 3a to eat. wakes between 4a and 6a to eat. wakes for good between 7a and 8a. eats usually around 9:30a, 12:30p, 3:30p, and 6:30p. his first nap is around 10a, and might last 30 minutes or 60 minutes if i get in quick enough with the paci. goes down again at 1p, and hopefully doesn't wake till about 3p or 3:30p. then we go out & about usually and sometimes he sleeps on the go, sometimes not. after his last feeding he goes right to bed, usually about 7p. if i'm lucky he'll stay asleep till that 1a-ish feeding, but lately he's been crying out at 9p. sometimes i feed him then, sometimes i don't. it doesn't seem to buy me anymore sleep, so i usually don't.
-he LOVES the bumbo chair. he just starting to get the strength to sit propped up on the sofa with pillows. if he sits too long he spits up. if he sits too soon after eating he spits up.
-he physically can roll from tummy to back, but mentally i don't think it is a conscious effort.
-he's getting great at tummy time, and even enjoys it provided he's not just eaten or too tired. right after a nap before a feeding is when we have the best tummy time.
-he loves talking to his mobile friends in his crib

-he's not really bearing weight on his legs yet, and that worries our pedi a bit. he's also a bit wobbly when sitting, so i really need to make him work more....so lots of jumperoo time and time propped sitting up are in his future. i haven't pushed him largely because his reflux seems to bother him when he's working those muscles so i'm not surprised at his developmental pace. our pedi encouraged me to start him on rice cereal sooner rather than later hoping that will help the reflux, so i can push him more physically without pain. wish me luck!

feet

this boy has the most active feet you've ever seen...and when they aren't kicking they look like this... see the feet?

lu was certain he wanted to call Grammy...

my men

umm....see any resemblance? (luci gave gus a flower to hold...you can see how well that ended)

and here with my dad? at the very least they share the same hair style... ;)

all that ails

Last week (before the baptism weekend) was one of those weeks....but long term we'll all be fine so that is what we are (doing our best to keep) focusing on.

On Tuesday Clay found out he tore his ACL. A complete tear. He also has a host of other issues with his medial meniscus and other parts of the knee...none of which I understand. Reconstructive surgery is scheduled for May 6th. He'll be on crutches for 2 weeks, and out of work for a minimum of 6 weeks. Until then he's working as much as he can. There will be no running for quite some time. If you know Clay very well, you know this is a big deal. It also ruins his plans of hiking the Grand Canyon again (this time with a buddy) during his week of vacay in June. Boo.

I had a monster headache that lasted for days. Two Saturdays ago it was so bad I had blind spots in my vision. It wasn't getting better so I went to the doctor and he gave me some kind of miracle shot. Seriously...I felt better than I had in weeks. Apparently I had a sinus infection that was in my non-cheek sinus area. I hadn't been able to see well for weeks...but after the anti-inflammatory shot I could see again normal again for a couple of days (must have been putting pressure on my optic nerve?) but now the vision issue is back. Despite the allergy meds, antibiotic and nasal steroid. Ugh. Wish I could get that shot again....

Luci had a giant canker sore in the middle of her upper lip so she wasn't eating. Then came the virus complete with fever (while everyone was here)...which broke Wednesday night I think. Unfortunately she's still on an eating strike. It is very unlike her, so I'm trying not to get too worked up about it. I'm sure when she's feeling 100% better the appetite will come back too.

Mr. Milo, our cat, had a cat bite wound that got infected, abscessed, and ruptured. After nearly $275 of vet bills on Wednesday, they declared him on the road to recovery...his human mama knew better. I took him back in on Friday when he was still far from his usual self. After another $170 they declared him still on the road to recovery...it was supposedly just taking longer than they had thought. Then the next day we saw that another abscess (that we & the vet were unaware of) had apparently ruptured. He seems to be doing better since then. Poor lil guy. Poor wallet.

Luckily, (and knock on wood), Gus and Miss Tallulah (our other cat) appear to have weathered the bad luck storm unscathed.

Unfortunately I did another craptastic job of getting photos when we had our wonderful family down so no photos today. Boo.....

Gus' Baptism Weekend

Sweet baby boy...he may have been the only boy in a gown...but I thought he looked handsome...

The Pierse Family...thanks for coming Aunt Lee!!!
The Rosonke Family...

It's been a busy weekend...we've been blessed to have family down from both Iowa & Indiana. My dad hadn't been here since Luci's baptism so that was an extra special treat. Aunt Lee also came down making it a doubly special treat :) Luci loved having so much family around and kept saying, "hello everyone! hi everyone!" Thanks everyone for coming down!!

hands & feet

i brought out the highchair not because he's eating (i'm in no hurry this time), but because he likes to be up where the action is...and this is a safe way for him to sit up & be included in the kitchen. i usually put a toy or two on the tray and then he's generally content to hang for a bit. he now will reach for toys but still can't quite get them to his mouth...usually his arm just flails about until the toy is lost. he does get his hands in there though & he finds them to be quite tasty :) and this morning i saw him grab a toe, but i'm not sure he knew what it was...i'm guessing it'll only be a matter of days and he'll have it figured out!

should've known

when I said, "why don't you go play in your playroom" that her "okay!" response was too good to be true...

I think she was attempting to 'trace' the letters. Maybe I shoud look at it as good practice?

Happy Birthday & Happy Easter!

Happy belated birthday to the grandpas & to Uncle Keith...all of whom celebrated a birthday yesterday! We are sad that we didn't get to talk to any of you despite a few phone calls up north! You must be busy men!

And a Happy Easter to all!

Yesterday Luci & I colored eggs for the first time! I stayed up late on Friday night & hard boiled 12 eggs so they'd be ready on Saturday morning. One of the eggs floated & I thought that was odd so I threw it out. I boiled the remaining 11, and then tested one of them to be sure it was properly cooked (it was :). So as planned, on Saturday morning when Gus went down for his first nap we colored 10 eggs. In my head I had it built up that she was just going to LOVE it (I do this a lot with activities I loved as a kid). She liked it fine enough I suppose, but wanted to know what was IN the eggs (lotsa plastic eggs filled with candy these days)...and when I finally had her convinced that there were EGGS in the EGGS, she wanted to crack them RIGHT.NOW. Once I got her over that we colored them, but she didn't want to do any eggs that were say half pink & half yellow...she wanted them to be all one color. humpf...not so fun. and of course after we dyed the 10 we had the drama started because she wanted to color 'just one more'. Somehow no matter how fun of an activity I think we have planned, it almost ALWAYS ends in tears.

Luci was delighted to find that the Easter Bunny left her a basket...she wasn't really expecting it because we haven't really talked much about the Easter Bunny or what (s)he does. This year the Easter Bunny collected items over a period of few weeks when Luci-coveted things caught her eye. And this year the Easter Bunny was in bed the night before Easter with the lights out when she realized that she forgot to assemble & deliver the basket. And I'm not sure why the Easter Bunny decided a $1.99 flute was a good idea...who wants to listen to that all day?

The biggest hit of the basket was a set of 5 Tinkerbell lip glosses with a little tin 'box' container as she calls it. She carted it around ALL day...even sneaking one lip gloss (minus the top) into church! The kid has been putting on lip gloss ALL.OVER.HER.FACE...ALL.DAY.

feelings

Thanks to Ni Hao Kai Lan (a show on Nick Jr.), Luci is learning lots about feelings. There is a new episode that we saved where a friend gets mad & hits, and then has to sit in time out. Then it talks about how when we get mad we use our words instead of hitting. It is kinda AWESOME to have something we use all the time shown in cartoon format. Luci is mesmerized by the Kai Lan episodes that deal with emotions she seems to regularly experience. This morning I overheard her as she picked up baby potato head & cradled her sweetly..."she lost her feelings, no, she hurt her feelings, i want to take care of her feelings, [insert hug], okay, her feelings feel better."

In other news, the big boy went for a ride in the stroller this morning for the first time without the car seat! Yaay big boy!