dear babypea,

hello my sweet baby. we've known about you for 4 weeks and 2 days now. tomorrow we hope to see you for the first time (well...your dad will be at work, but dr. j will take your first photo and of course i'll share)...fluttering heartbeat and all. i haven't thought much about actually holding you or meeting you cause your dad & i have a tendency to make babies that go straight to heaven. but we're so hoping & praying that you come play with us here on earth. if you have any say in the matter please be a good listener to mama's words. ;)

when we told your big sister she was full of pure joy. she literally said, "oh thank you, thank you!!" while jumping up & down. in fact, she was so full of joy that it brought tears to your daddy's eyes. (he's a softy, don't let him fool ya). i wasn't sure if we should tell her so soon, but i figured it would be better for her to understand what was going on cause it was likely i'd be acting a little different soon. we told her that mom, dad & Jesus made a baby (you) in mom's belly. and that sometimes when mom, dad & Jesus make a baby it goes straight to heaven to live with Jesus. sissy said, "but i want them to come live with us!" we reminded her of how we pray at night for her brothers & sisters in heaven. but we told her that sometimes, the baby does get to come here & live with us. like brother gus did. then she asked when you would be here and we told her around thanksgiving. she said, "i can't wait for thanksgiving! i think i want a baby sister! what is the baby's name?" having that conversation filled our hearts with joy.

i've been a bit anxious for 4 weeks and 2 days now. it's kind of just my nature. but i promise, i am working very hard on trusting God's plan for our family. you've been helping out too by making me feel so nauseous all of the time. thanks for that. it's an easy cross to bear when the reward is holding you in 9 months.

all that said, the real reason i'm writing this is because i want you to know, my pea, that no matter what i see on that fuzzy screen tomorrow, you are acknowledged as part of our family, and most of all...you are loved.
love,
mama