i hereby pledge

not to try a new recipe for 1 month.

one of clay's biggest complaints about me is my 'slow' learning curve. now let me argue i'm a super quick study when i want to learn something. but i have to want to learn things, and i need to learn them in my own time, in my own way. i'm sure it is very frustrating to be married to someone with said personality trait.

eventually i just have these big epiphanies. i've had several since i met clay, and each time i do he just shakes his head in amazement that it has taken me (x) long to 'get it'. he's always dumbfounded that i really didn't 'get it' the whole time before...like he thought i'd been putting him on or something.

which brings me to today.

his knee is still healing, so i offered to mow the lawn. he looked at me like i had 6 heads...and literally said something like, "seriously? you are going to mow the law?" i very casually said, sure, why not...not comprehending why this seemed like such a big deal to him. i mowed our yard growing up ALL.THE.TIME. it was a HUGE (at least huge to me now) lawn. i did it like once a week from the time i was 8 until i was 19 or something. not a big deal. i know how to mow a lawn. and so i did, in fact, mow our tiny little postage stamp lawn. and my husband was SHOCKED. and i couldn't understand why he was so shocked. probably because not once since he's known me have i volunteered to mow or shown any interest in the yard or mowing. not sure why, i just haven't.

then i come in the kitchen to get started on dinner...a new recipe i've been wanting to try for awhile. i realize somewhere along the cooking process that i'm MUCH more comfortable mowing the lawn than attempting said recipe, even though i hadn't mowed a lawn in like 15 years, and cooking is something i attempt everyday. sure enough, after 90 minutes, $20 worth of groceries, a bit of anxiety & a few nasty words about needing help with the kids while I ruined finished dinner, we had crap to eat.

i finally get it. i'm NOT a naturally gifted cook. i can make a few things really well, and i should stick to them, especially while i'm the mama of small children running around like a chicken with her head cut off 90% of the time. dinner is insane enough at our house with 2 kids to feed and get in the tub/bed by 6:45ish without the pressure of trying new recipes every other night.

duh. not sure how to articulate why mowing the lawn helped me see this, but it did. i'm sure if i reflected some more i could more appropriately explain, but alas it is time for bed in the house of sleepless babes. the moral of the story? if i can do a better job mowing the lawn, something i haven't done in 15 years, than preparing dinner, which i do every night, maybe i'm spending my precious energy in the wrong place. therefore, i hereby pledge not to try a new recipe for the next month.