new sleep rules

the boy rarely sleeps more than 90 minutes at a time. like EVER. day or night. often at night it is more like 20 - 40 minutes. TOTALLY not enough sleep for ANYBODY. i'm starting to lose it. actually, i've pretty much lost 'it' all at this point so i've got to try something different. just hoping he grows into a better sleeper isn't working.

so...the analyst in me has decided to implement some new sleep rules. it's all about the illusion of control...but even if it takes a month before it works it isn't like i'm getting any less sleep than i was before. just less comfortable sleep.

night sleep:
1. after the night time routine he goes in the crib, in the magic merlin suit. if he starts to cry, he must cry showing no signs of self soothing for 5 minutes straight before i go in/get up.
2. when i do go in/get up, i try just the paci first with head & tummy rubbing. i try this for 1 minute before i pick him up to soothe.
3. if i do pick up, i hold him for no longer than 1 minute after he's soothed.
4. if he starts to cry again, he must cry showing no signs of self soothing for 5 minutes straight before i do the paci/pick up aided soothing.
5. repeat until he's alseep or until 11p or 4a when i'll feed him.

last night i slept on his floor...somehow it is easier to listen to him cry when i'm right there. the sound of his cries via the monitor somehow trigger a physical reaction of urgency & anxiety in me that i MUST respond to, whereas when i'm right there on his floor i can manage a little cheer for him in my head. it goes something like this..."come on buddy...you can do it, i know you can! that's it...good soothing...you can do it big boy. i'm doing my part...i'm teaching you what you can expect...now you do your part...you can do it!!" somehow i can't do that from my room through the monitor so his floor it shall be until we get this figured out. it's not like i'm getting any less sleep, just a little less comfortable sleep. and best to do it while dad is still home to man luci's monitor. he was treated to a few wake ups himself from her last night...fun times for all.

last night he cried off & on (more on) from 9:30p to 11p when i fed him - he fell right to sleep after that. he was up again at 2:30a, and i let him cry off & on (more on) till 4a when i fed him again. he then talked to himself a bit and he may have cried 5 minutes (can't really remember), but then went right back to sleep after the first paci attempt. he then slept until 7a...which is pretty awesome for him. usually the time between the 4a-ish feeding to 7a is filled with 20 minute wake-ups. overall, not bad for a first night but a well rested house we are NOT.

day sleep:
1. after the sleep time routine (1 song) he goes in the crib, in the magic merlin suit. if he starts to cry, he must cry showing no signs of self soothing for 5 minutes straight before i go in.
2. when i do go in, i try just the paci first with head & tummy rubbing. i try this for 1 minute before i pick him up to soothe.
3. if i do pick up, i hold him for no longer than 1 minute after he's soothed.
4. if he starts to cry again, he must cry showing no signs of self soothing for 5 minutes straight before i do the paci/pick up aided soothing.
5. repeat until he's asleep, or until he's been in his crib for a total of 1 1/2 hours.

for some reason it's been harder to let him self soothe than it was luci. maybe because she was better at it, maybe because she didn't wake as frequently, maybe because she didn't have the reflux for so long (i wasn't worried with her that the crying caused pain)...maybe because there was no big sister to wake up during the process...maybe maybe maybe. who knows. all i know is that i've had a headache & an eye twitch for over 3 months now and i'm spent. i know where the phrase 'i'm so tired i can't see straight' comes from. i need to sleep. we all do. our family dynamic will be better for it.

wish me luck with day 1, night 2.

ps. i have 5 month photos...just no energy to put together that post yet. it'll come...better late than never.