mood swings

are for real my friends. the hormones? they are a-changing in this very pregnant body. combine them with the end of pregnancy sleep deprivation (no thanks to you time change...lu has been waking up at 5:20aish) and the last few days have brought familiar mood swings...my very least favorite...rage. i vividly remember the rage i felt when pregnant & post partum with gus. i really haven't had any rage to speak of this go-round...till this weekend. i had chalked it up to my healthy state of mind ;)...my constant prayers & focus on grateful peace...but i'm tellin ya, the swings are SO irrational & unpredictable that i now know i've just been lucky. cause there was no amount of healthy, rational emotional coaching in my head that i could do to calm that rage.

gus threw the remote. not cool, but certainly not deserving of the horned mama response that came out of my mouth. no 22 month old should be spoken to in such a way. as soon as the tone & words were out of my mouth i recognized how irrationally i was behaving. the great thing about this being my 5th pregnancy is that i now recognize the mood swings for what they are. luckily clay was just upstairs. i sent him a text..."pregnancy rage. need backup." he came right down, took the kids up to his sacred man cave, and let me be. i got in the car, cried, turned on the radio, heard lmfao i'm sexy & i know it, decided i needed some endorphins, made a mental note of how important post partum working out is going to be regarding my mental health, went & got a disgusting yet just what i needed filet-o-fish (cause working out in this body is not an option), and by the time i was back home i was fine.

so...future post partum self: when you feel that rage, cause i know you will, put your running shoes on, turn on your ipod and get movin. make that rage work for you. you know you'll feel better, and be a better (albeit still sleep deprived) mama for it.