Also at the park this morning...we sit at this table & bang on it. Sounds like fun, right?
Very closely checking out her photo Valentine's Day card from her Guh's...
She looks SO much like photos I've seen of my mom as tot in this picture.
Super cool shades...all over the house...but never outside!?!?
Correspondence with our pedi proved VERY insightful. He asked a seemingly benign question...any changes in the house?
Hmmm...changes...not permanent changes, per se. But disruption? Where do I start? I decided it really all started with our Christmas travels. Two weeks of traveling with a very anxious Mama. I'm not a good traveler to begin with, and all I could think about was making it to my 8 week appointment so I could see that baby & its heart beat. We were home one day & then took away the baaa (paci). Next day we find out our baby is really babies, but that they are not well babies. Mama starts to lose it a bit. We are blessed with many family & friends who stay with us and support us (thank you family & friends...I have a post composed in my head thanking you...just isn't out yet). Mama basically gets through the next few weeks, but certainly doesn't win any awards for grieving with grace. Dad is home for longer periods & gone for longer periods than usual. The home/gone adjustment is hard for all of us, and is directly related to the length of the trip. In short? It has been a difficult few months and this family needs to give itself a break.
Pedi recommended giving Luci back her baa. It is her security blanket...and obviously (why didn't I see it before?) she's lost some sense of security over the last two months...and when she needed her blanket most, we took it away. Of course hindsight is 20/20. Had we known what we'd go through with the pregnancy we probably would have made a different decision, but once we had started down the path it seemed like failure to go back. But of course the head butting, banging, hitting, kicking & biting (there has been some of each over the last few weeks) all started when we got back from Christmas travels and took away the baa and Mom & Dad started to behave in a way far from usual. For now it seems she just might need that extra bit of security it provides. Clay & I hope to distract her from it when she doesn't need it, but we agree it was a bit too much to ask of a one year old all at once. Another thing that sold us on the fact that this was the right move? Her desire to stay in her crib for over 4 hours just to have baa time yesterday. So for now, the baa is back.
Of course this is not to say we'll stop disciplining. Hitting, kicking & biting are now an automatic one minute time-out...no warning (which I've already explained & implemented this morning). She's generally a VERY good listener & really responds well to expectations & consequences, so I think as long as we stay consistent the behavior will stop as quickly as it started. The head banging will result in us holding her with her back to our face - no eye contact and only a short 'no'. It seems to be an attention getting behavior so we need to stop rewarding it with our attention. Instead we'll focus on being present with her & giving her the right kind of engaged attention she deserves.
2 comments:
Ellie still has her blanket..it is more of a scarf. The way I see it...they won't still be attached to it as teens..so why take it. :) Luci is s sweet, sweet girl. Glad you guys had a good V-day!!
Kiddos are very intuitive when it comes to stress in Mom and Dad. I can see it in all my kids when we have a few rough days, so I'm not at all surprised that Luci has been acting out a bit. It could be partly due to her age and testing limits and such, but you got some great advice from the Doc. And I agree with Lacey....lovies, paci's, etc are around for only a short time. Avery still has her 'lovie'...now it's just a bunch of strings of fabric tied in a knot and she doesn't need it, she just still likes to know where it is. I guess we try to give ourselves a break, we have to remember to give our kiddos a break once in a while too..it all happens with time. I bet Luci is loving having her "baa" back:-)
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