Gus is sooooo

teeny...or so she used to say. Yesterday she said, "Gus is getting sooooooo BIG and HEAVY...off, off, take him OFF!"

not happy...

Luci wanted Gus to hold SallyBea (as she's now called - she was originally Bea, then Sally a year later, and now SallyBea) during dinner. Doesn't he look pleased?

Um, the more people you add to a family photo the harder it is to get a good one, right?

home improvement

most functional award goes to our new guest quarters...

look! a built-in cabinet in the playroom!

no, wait! surprise! it's a bed!

most fun award goes to our new bigger screen TV & blu-ray player that streams netflix & pandora!! yaaaay for free kids music (that mom likes, too) all day!

and tied for most painful to project to complete, some new wall words....

gus' room (someday we'll center the crib under the words)

and the master bath...just a friendly lil reminder for two type-a parents (pardon the glare from the shower door)....

tummy time

our boy is getting the hang of tummy time!! i'd been wondering when he'd figure out it is more comfortable when you use your hands to help push up...

his motivation seemed to be our new bigger screen tv (we upgraded from a 32 inch to a 47 inch)...he was REALLY into divine design on hgtv...a sign of good taste in my book!

he also rolled over from his tummy to his back...but he's done this once before (we had been home from the hospital just a day or two) and i'm pretty sure it is accidental & won't be repeated for another few months. i actually think it is just a result of his fairly severe reflux...he's got the back arching thing down!

my girl the climber

"I go to the backyard? I go in the backyard?" Luci is all about our backyard these days...she's pretty much conquered everything within reach at the two parks that are a short walk away so I guess climbing trees is the next step?

This morning she watched Milo (our cat) jump from our cube climber to the ledge on the fence seen above...and she said, "I try it? Can I try?" - I think she really would have if Clay & I hadn't been there to explain to her that only cats can fit on that ledge...

two months

this is on his way to a smile...he's got kind of a lopsided grin :)

our sweet boy celebrated his two month birthday on sunday the 28th! he's a handsome fella, if you ask his mom...or his grandmas...or his sister.

stats @ 2 months:

weight: 13lbs, 12.8oz, 90%

height: 26inches, 75 - 90%

head: 15inches, 50-75%

he's sweet. i don't know how else to describe him. unless his belly hurts, he's hungry or he's sleepy, the boy doesn't really cry. if you talk to him, he'll smile & talk back. he loves to coo and say something that sounds like "ahgoooo". within the last week he's started to be ready for bed around 7p which has made my life MUCH easier. he's also trying hard to develop a longer morning nap, but sometimes he wakes up after 45 minutes to hang for another 20 minutes before realizing, oh yeah, i still want to sleep. i'm hoping that within the next week he'll have it down. then in the afternoon some days he has a long nap and others he takes 2-3 45 minute naps. he was eating every 2 hours up until the last week when we started stretching it a bit more, and for the most part we are up to every 3 hours now.

he loves his new bouncy seat & his little woodland friends. he likes the play mat star, but after 3 or 4 minutes he gets a bit overstimulated.

i think he's already outgrowing his size 1-2 swaddlers that i bought. anybody need a sams club size box of 1-2s? As for clothes, the 3 month outfits are LONG gone, and the 3-6month ones are on their way out. he's in 6-9 month pjs...for the next few weeks anyway.

night time has been mostly two feedings a night, although last night i stretched him and fed just once. his pedi says once should definitely be sufficient for a nearly 14 pounder. i'm just worried it was a one night thing given he was a bit more sleepy from his vaccinations (just two, we are on a modified schedule).

and, starting last night, he's largely soothing himself to sleep. i wait until he's drowsy, wrap him in his blanket and then put him in his bed. the plan is to let him cry for 5 minutes, then soothe, then let him cry again, and so on until he's asleep. so far we've had one 5 minute crying period. other than that, he's just drifted off into sweet slumber by himself. i'm happy to teach him self soothing skills, but must admit i sort of miss our rocking sessions...

cousins

we missed baby austyn, but it was fun for 3 out of the 4 rosonke cousins to play for a few days this week! well...at least, brooke & i thought it was fun...

to say that luce had a hard time with a little tot in the house would be a massive understatement. she definitely had lots of 2 year old moments. complete with a line from the cat in the hat..."you get out of this house!" - nothing like making family feel welcome! and then the incredibly dramatic, "i never get to play with my toys"...but not in a loud bratty way, in a sullen, sad, woe is me kind of way. yet not more than 10 minutes after we dropped him off at the airport she said to me, "i miss asher". and tonight when it was back to just the three of us at home she said, "member when asher was here? that was fun."

photos

I have lots of thoughts I'd like to post, but I don't have lots of time. Even WITH my mom & and MIL visiting over the last few weeks. So in lieu of my usual cathartic brain dump, here are a few photos to enjoy...

my helpful big girl...
my adorable lil boy...

my annoying bandage...

after I took the thumbs up photo, I decided I really felt more thumbs down about it...



but I'm not really complaining. The surgery went well. Other than the fact that they somehow sprained my entire hand during the procedure, the pain is less than expected. I have to keep this same bandage on until 3/1. Um, yeah. So my hand just isn't as useful as it needs to be (diapers, dishes, etc). Thank goodness for loving, selfless grandmas!!!

can I ride it?

Last week Luci pensively asked if she could ride the balloon she got from Chick-fil-a. Like she knew the answer would be no. When we responded, sure, you can try (we wanted to see what her plan was) she promptly stood on the string of the balloon and really thought she was going to be hoisted into the air. She was VERY upset when nothing happened. Luckily, Dad came to the rescue and one of her little zoo monkeys was promptly lifted into the air after being secured to the string.

The phrase "can I" is heard about 100x a day lately - for example...can I...

go with you? Doesn't matter if we are going to the store, to shower, to Gus's room, to the backyard, to get the mail, with Dad to work...she wants to come along.

feed it? Dad got us a dozen roses for Valentines Day...well, 11 for me and 1 for Luci. And the flowers came with a packet of food. She asked what the packet was, and upon learning it was flower food she asked, "can I feed it?"

have some? Usually meaning some food or drink item.

wear it? Referring to a dress up outfit, a tutu, or new clothes for Valentine's Day from Grandma & Grandpa.

step on it? Usually on something she knows she isn't supposed to step on (toys, Gus blankets, etc).

play with it? Usually referring to an instrument she knows she can't play until Gus is awake.

and finally, in a bit of tmi...
touch it? Looking at Gus's little boy part during his bath or mama's milk makers (that's what we call them these days) during nursing sessions. I take these particular requests as a 'teaching moments' to talk about private parts...

my mother

more and more, i remind myself of my mom. and i adore my mom, so that must be a good thing then, right? i swore i'd never do this, but here i am...

i've started buying random stuff on sale & hoarding it in the closet. then i bring it out whenever i need (clay hates when i use that word in this context. but right now, it really does feel pretty close to a need) to. said 'surprise' is totally all about helping me get through the day. when we need something to mix it up, boom, there we go. i'm running on 3.5 hours of sleep...literally...i wish it was an exaggeration...and it is 6p. it has been a LONG.DAY. i'm almost there. my girl trina is coming over in 30 minutes to help out with bedtimes & keep me sane. so what do we do until then?

my sweet girl just opened her first ever box of 64 crayons (thank you kroger for $2.99)...the kind with the sharpener. and the inner office supply geek in me realizes i've been this way since childhood. there is just something AWESOME about opening a new box of 64 crayons. i opened it VERY carefully...i don't want a crinkly box top for the remainder of its life. er, i mean, luci doesn't want that ;) watching her pull 20 of them out at a time is giving me angst.

come to think of it, i bet that wouldn't bother my mother in the least. that part must be from my father...

ah, and it is 6:10 and she's all done coloring. that didn't work so well, uh.

it's not a tumor....

ugh...i have a benign tumor on the tip of my thumb!! i thought it was just a blood blister that wouldn't heal (for 10+ weeks). it bled all the time all over everything...so finally at my 6 week postpartum check up (all is well, btw) i asked dr. j about it (due to clay's prompting)...and she said, hmm, you need to see a hand doctor.

and per the hand doctor, nope...not a blood blister, turns out it is a pyogenic granuloma...it happens in up to 5% of pregnancies per this random website (so it must be true ;). so a week from tomorrow i'm having it surgically removed. FUN TIMES. i'm opting for 'twilight' anesthesia instead of the full blown or just the local (all three were options). full blown anesthesia really knocks me for a loop, but i'm a total wimp and hearing/seeing/smelling the coring of it (core it like an apple...to use the doctors words) and the cauterizing of it would probably make me throw up. so twilight it is.

the most annoying part (at least, pre-surgery most annoying)? i can't nurse gus for 24 hours after the anesthesia...so i'm pumping like it is my job to get enough milk stored up for him. more fun times. especially when i've been trying to regulate my supply a little better to his needs.

i'm sure the most annoying part after surgery will be the intense pain & the inability to use THE TIP OF MY THUMB!!!

and, in better, more fun news...my boy is smiling...amanda managed to get some proof for me!

to see more click here. thank you talented miss amanda. don't i have talented girlfriends? i'm such a lucky girl. even if i do have a tumor on my thumb!

family photo

the entire texan contingent of the pierse family decked out in their colts gear...courtesy of the indiana contingent...with the lovely addition of our home away from home family (the lawrences...minus one very important 4 year old)!

we are sorry for your loss grandma pierse...we supported the colts with all our hearts at a party FULL of saints fans just for you!! you can see that luci was pretty upset about the loss too...

PS - that is a 6/9 month onsie that lil booty is filling out!! 12lbs, 8oz at 6 weeks!

PPS - oh, and the faux pearls that go so well with my t-shirt? they remind me which side to start feeding on next...classy, no? ;)

time

is something I don't have much of lately. I'm giving myself 10 minutes to post...so if it isn't very eloquent please forgive! something that has been reaffirmed over & over again in the last five weeks is that the board room phase of my life was certainly much easier. so as a throw back...here goes an executive dashboard view of my life...everything you need to know in one place, readable in 10 minutes.

-my days are longer/more difficult than my nights now. i NEVER dreamed that would be the case. yes, the nights are sleepless, but the days, oh the days. two kids crying. feeling like neither one is getting 100% of what they need, wondering if i'm giving the right one the right attention at the moment...ugh.

-my house is even more of a disaster than usual.

-gus is now on prevacid...i hope it works. he loves the way it tastes (strawberry).

-luci is sick...fever of 100.4, CONSTANTLY runny nose, watery eyes...she's not seriously ill, but just a bad cold need a lot of snuggle time kind of sick. there is seriously snot EVERYWHERE.

-desired snuggle time is rough when there is a 5 week old who also needs attention, and to be kept away from his sick sister best as possible. dr. brooke says we don't want to walk the sick newborn path. this is impossible to explain to the sick 2 1/2 year old.

-trying to balance needs tonight, my baby largely cried himself to sleep at 5 weeks old. not more than 5 minutes at a time, but more than i wanted him to. i wanted to just rock him in the dark until he fell into sweet slumber. but his 2 1/2 year old sister needed some snuggle time & a nice book read. and she got it.

-we are interviewing care providers starting this weekend. finding potential providers has taken a lot of time. i'm looking for someone just for about 10 hours a week while i work. i was supposed to start back up on Monday (yeah right), but my awesome boss is giving me a few more weeks. i'm terrified that no matter how wonderful said care provider seems to be that my baby is going to be shaken. (he cries. a lot.) thinking about this keeps me awake at night. and not when i'm already awake tending to a child. the kind of extra painful awake you have when you know you need to be sleeping.

-my friend Amanda came over last night to help me out during bedtime and give me the adult interaction i am so missing. i love her for this, and for many other things.

-my friend Sara took AMAZING newborn photos of Gus. they are so amazing I don't want to share them until i pick one for his birth announcement. and all i need to get that done is a bit more TIME. until then, here is a sneak peak.


my 10 minutes are up. off to bed in hopes of some sweet slumber of my own.

tone

please note that my last post was intended to be read with a slightly humorous stand up comedian kind of slant...not an angry crying over my drink at a bar kind of slant. i realize it was not my typical post, but it is a blog about our journey...and this is our journey.

and i STINK...i missed by boy's one month day. boo me. so tomorrow i'll be taking a chair photo of him just a few days late. sorry sweet boy. in all fairness, if you let me sleep a bit more i might do a better job staying on top of things ;)

in other news, i think i might try to switch his acid reflux med. it has been 2 1/2 weeks and he's still screaming in pain way too often. last night from 11:40p to 2a. fun times. it is important to keep a sense of humor after listening to your child scream in your ear for 2 hours in the middle of the night no matter what you do to comfort him. a big thanks to clay who got up with luci this morning (as he often does...but he also managed to keep her quiet this am and stay out of our room...which is a challenge) so i could sleep in till 9a. running on 6 hours of sleep vs 4 makes a big difference.

state of the union (the pierse union, that is)

ugh. caring for two kids is kind of kicking my ass. especially when clay is gone. then they really kick my ass. and when clay is home, if they aren't kicking our asses, we are usually kicking one anothers ass. ugh. i'll be honest...we have a rough time caring for very small children. we love them and each other, are incredibly grateful & thankful for them and each other, but somehow they don't bring out the best of us too much of the time...neither in our behavior toward them, or toward one another. we're working on it.

that said, i flew solo yesterday and we had a GREAT day. bedtime went well, and both kids were in bed by 8:30. i felt like singing "iiiiiii am a champion" last night. tonight, both kids in bed by 8:30 again, but I feel like i just ran a marathon with a horrendous time of 12 hours. not that i've ever run a marathon. but if I did it would probably take me that long. and i'd be proud that i finished, but not so proud of my performance. time outs were had, and time outs were protested. hitting occurred at bedtime (she hit me...we don't ever hit her) so there was no story. there was too much tv and not enough quality play time. she pushed gus. twice. a second attempt at ballet class ended very quickly in tears. and resulted in no naps for mom & luce. and a prematurely woken up gus. the lone highlight was fun play-doh before lunch. we had a play-doh birthday party with cake, ice cream, brownies, milk, donuts and decorations. mom, dad, luci & gus attended. gus's servings were very small, because he's just a baby. it was lovely. but it was cold & rainy so there was no outside time...and the girl needs her outside time. and we have most of the day on our own tomorrow before Clay gets home. i'm crossing my fingers for a better performance. and praying for patience and an attitude of gratitude.

random things about luce i forgot in the last post...
-she can spell Luci Pierse and also knows what street we live on
-she can count almost to twenty. at some point twelventeen and niventeen start recurring...sometime after fifteen. and yes, she says twelve correctly & in order. interesting, no?
-she can say her abc's (almost accurately) and can identify all letters & numbers 95% of the time.
-she did her first identifiable drawing last week - of a smile face. i'll scan it & post it here one of these days.
-she pretend nursed Dobby today. she pulled her shirt up, hugged Dobby close, and then proclaimed it was time for the 'other side'.
-and despite our horrendous day, she did tell me that i was a nice mama, and so i should 'clap for yourself, give yourself a hand' (from the Little Einsteins)

gustopher notes-
-we are still feeling out nicknames for him...beyond gus, that is. gussy, bugaboo, gustopher, G, lil man and sweet boy are all being tossed around at this early point
-he's finally stopped screaming for an hour or more after every feeding. now he screams maybe just 15 minutes, and just after a few feedings instead of all of them. maybe the Zantac has kicked in now 2 weeks after we started taking it, or maybe he's just getting stronger...don't know, don't really care, just am grateful for his increased comfort and my resulting decreased anxiety.
-he usually eats every 2-3 hours, and eats 3 times a night. he often stays awake for longer than i'd like after at least one of the night feedings.
-he spits up A.TON. like projectile. even more than luci did. it is very mucousy, and comes out his nose...poor lil man. he gets freaked out when that happens.
-he likes the swing
-he already self soothes at times...that-a-boy ;)
-he'll sit contentedly in his bouncer/swing/crib for quite long periods if he's not fighting a burp, reflux, poops or exhaustion/over stimulation
-had an eye infection that seems to have finally turned the corner to recovery. think lots of neon green matter.
-likes to be swaddled if he's tired or over-stimulated. other than that, he doesn't need it.
-he's a good eater. my milk supply could feed a village of infants so we are struggling with that, but i'm playing with different methods to get it down and we seem to be making progress. i remember with luci at 3 months everything got much better so i'm keeping my eye on what i hope will be the 3 month prize...easier eating & the ability to start sleep training.
-he grunts & groans a lot, but has started to make little contented noises while nursing...after he's finished choking on the crazy let-down, that is.
-reflux makes him a crazed, head bobbing, back arching, leg pushing, hand flailing fool. it is not so fun. and sometimes it catches him off guard and instead of being mad he makes the saddest little frowny face you ever did see...it melts my anxiety away and just makes me sad that he's in so much pain. i usually tell him that reflux is a 'dirty trick' when he frowns like that. (a favorite Myrtle the Great saying). eating should not cause pain...it IS a dirty trick.
-he may have given me a social smile yesterday. a few, actually. but it hasn't been repeated so i can't be sure. he does track though and he thinks his mama & sister are beautiful...i can tell by the way he looks at us ;) and that smile??!?!?! it is going to break hearts!!! (just not your mama's heart ...do you hear me, boy?)

2 1/2 years

Our Lucipea is 2 1/2 years old today! I couldn't decide if I wanted to make a big deal about her half birthday or not, but in the end we decided not. She's had quite her fill of cookies, donuts, cakes & brownies lately, so best to keep the sugar away!

Notes at 2 1/2 years...

-the girl has THE.MOST.AMAZING.MEMORY. Seriously - she memorizes library books (and I mean LONG books) after a few nights. Sing a song to her just a few times and you can count on her repeating it 10x a day from then on. (ABC song, itsy bitsy spider, twinkle twinkle little star, lullaby & goodnight, rock a bye baby, jingle bells, away in a manger...just to name a few). She regularly quotes movies, books & shows totally out of the blue. When we have visitors she remembers where they sat at the dinner table (she still remembers where her friend Noelle Determan sat almost a year ago and where Myrtle the Great sat last summer).

-She has good manners, for the most part. She certainly understands the expectation, and if she doesn't use her 'nice words' you can bet it was a choice and not just something forgotten.

-She love, love, loves her FP Little People...better known as little friends by her. She has 2 houses, a Tree House & a school bus, and she plays with them about 1/2 the day I'd say. They go to bed when she does, and get up most mornings shortly after she does.

-After some encouragement from her Grandmas, she now mixes in her ponchos (horses), her Nativity scene Mary, Joseph & baby Jesus, and Cinderella with the little friends. Didn't occur to her crazy mama to mix different types of figurines for even more fun...mama wanted to keep them all separate...cause mama is anal like that.

-She loves her some Grandpa bread. Grandpa Pierse makes the BEST bread in perfect little Luci size loaves.

-She is GREAT at pretend play. For example she just delivered me some Grandpa toast on top of a Laughing Cow Cheese package cover (serves as the plate) and warned me it was too hot to eat. I originally asked her for some tea, to which she replied, "No tea today. No, not today."

-She likes TV well enough, but wants to 'turn the TV off' more than she wants it on. She prefers the one on one attention & engagement she gets when the TV off. Which is great...but I'll be honest, sometimes I wish it was a better babysitter. Or maybe that I had a better babysitter...that is really what I wish for! If I could only get those Grandmas to move to Texas...

-She can take her PJs off by herself if she really wants to, but usually doesn't. She cannot get dressed on her own yet...but it isn't really something we've worked on.

-She does put her own shoes on, and 99.9% of the time the shoes are on the correct feet.

-She still hasn't successfully done anything on her own without Mom or Dad...except going to Miss Amanda's house or Miss Trina's house. We tried a 30 minute ballet class a few weeks ago...she was so excited, literally for DAYS...and then after 5 minutes in the classroom the instructor brought her out sobbing. She wants to go back though, so we'll try again this week. She loves her ballet shoes, her tutu from Miss Amanda, and the class is full of her little friends...so I'm hopeful she'll get the hang of it. Oh, and the promise of the instructor delivered lollipop at the end of class also seems to be a motivating factor. "I go to ballet class. I go with Miss Nikki. No, no Margeaux, not today (her friend Margeaux wasn't there the week she went). I get a lollipop; maybe a purple lollipop!"

-Funny phrases..."I hurt my this one" (pointing to whatever body part ails her), "What is this one all about" (when she sees something new), "I want my this one" (pointing to what she wants), "Over dere" (over there), "That's funny" or "That's a funny one", "I put this one on".

-She refers to her little brother as "GUUUUUUUUUSS", and says he is "SSOOOOO Little" or "SOOOOO teeeeeny"

-She gets obsessed with one book/movie at a time. The Cat in the Hat obsession has been replaced by a new love for The Lorax. We go from one Dr. Seuss story to another it seems.

-She received several instruments for Christmas and LOVES all of them. We often have family band time. She plays the piano and assigns us each another one of her many instruments. Then we all play together to the demo music on her piano until she hits the stop button and says "freeze" or "stop", then we all stop until she hits play. She love, love, loves family band time.

-She's wearing size 5 diapers. She's interested in big girl panties (today we even put them on over her diaper), but her mama is not so interested in training her right now....maybe when Gus is sleeping through the night...

-I often ask her the same set of questions after each activity...to the point where now if I don't ask, she'll prompt me to ask her. For example after Dad takes her to the park, if I don't ask, she'll say, "Any friends there today? No, not today. No friends today." Or in the morning she'll say, "What I dream about? I dream about DADDY!!!"

-She may or may not be done with her afternoon naps. I can't tell if she hasn't napped well for 2 months because of all the new baby / visiting family hubub, or if she really doesn't need the sleep, or maybe some combination of the two.

-She definitely knows she has 2 sets of grandparents, and she thinks that is pretty cool.

-She knows her full name (Lucia Rosonke Pierse) and that she lives in The Woodlands, TX.

I know there are many more things I would like to document, but given it is Thursday & I started this on Monday, I'm just going to post!

Most of all, I hope that if/when my Luci reads this someday she can somehow comprehend the joy she brings to our lives. I love you my pea.

on our own

Grammy (my mom), Luci the ballerina & Gus... Grandma & Grandpa Pierse with Luci the princess & Gus...

Well Clay is on the way to the airport with his parents...we are officially on our own. We have been SO blessed to have great help from our families for just a few days short of a month. Barb & Don arrived on Dec 22nd and stayed until the 30th, my mom arrived on the 29th and stayed until Friday the 15th, Barb came back on the 14th and Don came down to join her on the 17th and they are just headed to the airport now. I'm so grateful for all of the help...my mom & my in-laws have set a high bar for how Clay & I hope to help Luci & Gus one day. Hopefully they like us enough to want us around!

I hope we are ready...luckily my first solo run with both kiddos won't be for a few days yet, and it is a shorter trip for Clay so I'm thinking positive thoughts and trying to convince myself I can handle 2 kids for 3 days/2 nights by myself. I realize I'm far from the first person to ever attempt such a feat and probably sound like a giant wimp, but there you have it. I'm very much looking forward to the day (er, night) that Gus sleeps for more than a few hours at a time...while at the same time trying to savor his newborn-ness. Motherhood is extremely rewarding for me, but far from the easiest thing I've ever done...

siblings much?

luci...

gus...luci.... luci...

gus...

We hit the pedi's office today for Gus's 2 week check up...at 2 1/2 weeks, cause I guess that is just how you roll with #2 (forgot to schedule the appointment until Friday...and he was 2 weeks on Monday). He's a whopping 10lbs, 1oz already! Luci wasn't even back up to her birth weight at the 2 week appointment! He's wearing 3-6 month one piece outfits because his arms, legs & feet are so long, but can still fit into the 0-3 month two pieces...in fact, the little pants usually fall off cause his waist isn't big enough. He's been diagnosed with reflux just like his big sis...boo. The good news is that I was able to recognize it early this time so hopefully we'll skip over the 5 hour crying jags with him.

Sleep is...um...coming along? He'll usually go 2 1/2 - 3 hours between feedings at night, and could go even longer during the day if I'd let him...which I don't...hoping that he'll get the hang of the sun & the moon (day & night in Luci's world).

Eating...he's got that one down as evidenced by his weight.

Luci is hanging in there...trying to get used to her new normal. Sadly I think nap time is a thing of the past for her. Ugh. The timing could have been better (for me, anyway).

And Mama? Mama is tired. And achy. I keep falling asleep in the rocker during that 11p/12a feeding...and wake up 2 hours later...after Gus only ate on 1 side! Ugh. So that kind of throws the whole night off. Tonight I'm going to bring him into our room for that feeding & watch some TV to stay awake...cause apparently I'm getting too old to sleep comfortably in a chair.

she likes him

at least, most of the time! we are getting there...his little circumcision no longer needs gauze as of this afternoon. it is nice to put a check in a box. now if we could get rid of the cord & getting him sleeping more at night i'll feel like my head is above water again.

luci is adjusting...she loves him, has a hard time being gentle & quiet, but can't stop saying, "gus is soooo little". she HATES it when he cries...it gives her anxiety. i think the hardest thing for her is having me split my time & attention. i'm hopeful that as gus & i get more into a routine i'll be able to do the same for luci...and while it won't be what she used to have, i'm hoping it'll provide her with the extra bit of security she seems to be missing right now. sleep time has become pretty rough...at least for mom & dad. she cries/fusses for the first hour of nap time, and most days she doesn't fall asleep. at night she doesn't want to go upstairs, and the getting ready process is rough, but then she generally falls asleep pretty quickly (due to lack of naps).

our other pea just wants to be held. ALL.THE.TIME. until this morning we'd never gotten him to sleep longer than 45 minutes without being held. but this morning i dug out my amazing miracle blanket (i tried it last week to no avail) and lo & behold the boy slept 3 hours straight. THANK YOU GOD. this mama was starting to lose hope on ever sleeping again. luckily my mom is here & has spent most of the last two nights holding him so that i could catch up on some sleep & give luci the attention she needs during the day. clay is back to work so i'm back to being the primary care giver to both kiddos. she's missin her daddy, that is for sure, but i also think she's loving that i am giving her the attention she's accustomed to.

on that note, i'm going to go enjoy some downtime while both kiddos are in their beds. ha, spoke to soon. gus is up.