gifts

my bestie has many. many. many. talents. i'm so glad she shares them with me.

luci's favorite place to go in the whole world is clara's house. you'd swear it was Disney World or something. her excitement is so great that she can't sleep the night before, and tears flow the minute you mention it is time to go home. thanks for always showing her such a good time lawrence family.

more new tricks

look at me...i'm sitting, i'm sitting!!

uh oh...

help, help!
whew! upright again.

somebody is sitting on their own!!! it's tough to tell because he's 'buried in a mountain of pillows' (lulu's words), but trust me, it's better this way. keeps him safe from his sister pushing him falling over. but really (i promise), he is sitting on his own under all of those pillows.

but he'd rather be over there....

lulu loves it. if she only knew what was coming next...this boy is going to be all up in her junk very soon. he says baby toys schmaybe toys...i'll have what she's having. poor thing, she's in for a world of hurt!

feeding & wiping...

glass half full alternative title: developmental progress
glass half empty alternative title: eating & peeing & pooping

g is now eating solids 3x a day per his pedi...we are trying to end the night feedings so everyone is more well rested. so he's now eating solids 3x a day and nursing 4 or 5x a day. that is a lot of feeding/development progress/eating.

lulu is basically potty trained. she pretty much did it herself...i guess she was just ready (although clay says in all fairness he wasn't involved in my other 2 attempts, and i'm sure his presence made all the difference....um, yeah...right...) she's had 2 accidents since the afternoon of 5/31. that's 2 accidents in 2 1/2 weeks! she's still wearing a diaper at night (and she's not happy about it), but during the day she's a potty pro. i actually just took away the kiddo potty in favor of a plush seat insert that sits on top of the regular toilet. she had started emptying the little potty deposit into the big potty 'all by myself'...which really meant she was flinging pee everywhere. or even poop. yes. fun times. she's got the bladder of her parents (we both have tiny bladders...something i loved about him when we started dating!!) and goes what feels like every 20 minutes. that is a lot of wiping/developmental progress/peeing & pooping.

between all of this feeding & wiping i'm beat. and sort of grossed out.

Gus @ 5 months

this is the most 'gus' looking photo of them all :)

ready for church

i hereby pledge

not to try a new recipe for 1 month.

one of clay's biggest complaints about me is my 'slow' learning curve. now let me argue i'm a super quick study when i want to learn something. but i have to want to learn things, and i need to learn them in my own time, in my own way. i'm sure it is very frustrating to be married to someone with said personality trait.

eventually i just have these big epiphanies. i've had several since i met clay, and each time i do he just shakes his head in amazement that it has taken me (x) long to 'get it'. he's always dumbfounded that i really didn't 'get it' the whole time before...like he thought i'd been putting him on or something.

which brings me to today.

his knee is still healing, so i offered to mow the lawn. he looked at me like i had 6 heads...and literally said something like, "seriously? you are going to mow the law?" i very casually said, sure, why not...not comprehending why this seemed like such a big deal to him. i mowed our yard growing up ALL.THE.TIME. it was a HUGE (at least huge to me now) lawn. i did it like once a week from the time i was 8 until i was 19 or something. not a big deal. i know how to mow a lawn. and so i did, in fact, mow our tiny little postage stamp lawn. and my husband was SHOCKED. and i couldn't understand why he was so shocked. probably because not once since he's known me have i volunteered to mow or shown any interest in the yard or mowing. not sure why, i just haven't.

then i come in the kitchen to get started on dinner...a new recipe i've been wanting to try for awhile. i realize somewhere along the cooking process that i'm MUCH more comfortable mowing the lawn than attempting said recipe, even though i hadn't mowed a lawn in like 15 years, and cooking is something i attempt everyday. sure enough, after 90 minutes, $20 worth of groceries, a bit of anxiety & a few nasty words about needing help with the kids while I ruined finished dinner, we had crap to eat.

i finally get it. i'm NOT a naturally gifted cook. i can make a few things really well, and i should stick to them, especially while i'm the mama of small children running around like a chicken with her head cut off 90% of the time. dinner is insane enough at our house with 2 kids to feed and get in the tub/bed by 6:45ish without the pressure of trying new recipes every other night.

duh. not sure how to articulate why mowing the lawn helped me see this, but it did. i'm sure if i reflected some more i could more appropriately explain, but alas it is time for bed in the house of sleepless babes. the moral of the story? if i can do a better job mowing the lawn, something i haven't done in 15 years, than preparing dinner, which i do every night, maybe i'm spending my precious energy in the wrong place. therefore, i hereby pledge not to try a new recipe for the next month.

poll

I am in our church's mom's group here...I volunteer in the meals ministry which requires that I prepare occasional meals for new mothers and sometimes our two priests. The request was for two portions of a healthy dinner by 3p. The priests then warm them up whenever they are ready to eat.

So I decided to make my favorite breaded baked chicken breasts. Here is the breading mixture (the recipe is for nuggets, but I leave the breasts in tact), and here is the recipe for my side dish, Beets n Sweets. I'm also including a side of Uncle Ben's 90 second Wild n Brown Rice, and Symphony Brownies for dessert and two kiwis for a taste of fruit.

Here is where we need your help. I say, roasted vegetables are healthy. I've prepared this dish before and let me tell you it is TASTY. And healthy. And filling. And it re-heats well. And generally speaking, I've found people in the South love them some sweet potatoes. One of our priests is from Houston, the other is from India.

Clay says: Baked breaded chicken with wild rice and brownies are all fine - quite good, in fact. My problem is with the sweet potato, beet and onion concoction. Maybe I've become a tad jaded as the last month has yielded vegan culinary surprises such as mushroom loaf, crunchy vegetable risotto (not supposed to be crunchy), and four unopened quarts of non-dairy ice cream (why bother?!). Past experience notwithstanding, this roasted vegetable dish is far outside of what I'd call the generally accepted cooking practices. On the Interesting Food Spectrum, we've gone far beyond "unique," we just passed "hmm... interesting" and are perilously close to "Ugghhh - what IS this?!" All kidding aside, it's not a mainstream dish and isn't appropriate to serve to someone whose tastes you don't know.

So...help us out. Am I ridiculous for preparing a unique side dish? I find when we are the blessed recipients of prepared meals something unexpected is an appreciated change from the usual (albeit tasty) casserole. I bet they get casseroles 70% of the time. I just thought I'd mix it up.

So please vote on the right. Thanks for your help.

new sleep rules

the boy rarely sleeps more than 90 minutes at a time. like EVER. day or night. often at night it is more like 20 - 40 minutes. TOTALLY not enough sleep for ANYBODY. i'm starting to lose it. actually, i've pretty much lost 'it' all at this point so i've got to try something different. just hoping he grows into a better sleeper isn't working.

so...the analyst in me has decided to implement some new sleep rules. it's all about the illusion of control...but even if it takes a month before it works it isn't like i'm getting any less sleep than i was before. just less comfortable sleep.

night sleep:
1. after the night time routine he goes in the crib, in the magic merlin suit. if he starts to cry, he must cry showing no signs of self soothing for 5 minutes straight before i go in/get up.
2. when i do go in/get up, i try just the paci first with head & tummy rubbing. i try this for 1 minute before i pick him up to soothe.
3. if i do pick up, i hold him for no longer than 1 minute after he's soothed.
4. if he starts to cry again, he must cry showing no signs of self soothing for 5 minutes straight before i do the paci/pick up aided soothing.
5. repeat until he's alseep or until 11p or 4a when i'll feed him.

last night i slept on his floor...somehow it is easier to listen to him cry when i'm right there. the sound of his cries via the monitor somehow trigger a physical reaction of urgency & anxiety in me that i MUST respond to, whereas when i'm right there on his floor i can manage a little cheer for him in my head. it goes something like this..."come on buddy...you can do it, i know you can! that's it...good soothing...you can do it big boy. i'm doing my part...i'm teaching you what you can expect...now you do your part...you can do it!!" somehow i can't do that from my room through the monitor so his floor it shall be until we get this figured out. it's not like i'm getting any less sleep, just a little less comfortable sleep. and best to do it while dad is still home to man luci's monitor. he was treated to a few wake ups himself from her last night...fun times for all.

last night he cried off & on (more on) from 9:30p to 11p when i fed him - he fell right to sleep after that. he was up again at 2:30a, and i let him cry off & on (more on) till 4a when i fed him again. he then talked to himself a bit and he may have cried 5 minutes (can't really remember), but then went right back to sleep after the first paci attempt. he then slept until 7a...which is pretty awesome for him. usually the time between the 4a-ish feeding to 7a is filled with 20 minute wake-ups. overall, not bad for a first night but a well rested house we are NOT.

day sleep:
1. after the sleep time routine (1 song) he goes in the crib, in the magic merlin suit. if he starts to cry, he must cry showing no signs of self soothing for 5 minutes straight before i go in.
2. when i do go in, i try just the paci first with head & tummy rubbing. i try this for 1 minute before i pick him up to soothe.
3. if i do pick up, i hold him for no longer than 1 minute after he's soothed.
4. if he starts to cry again, he must cry showing no signs of self soothing for 5 minutes straight before i do the paci/pick up aided soothing.
5. repeat until he's asleep, or until he's been in his crib for a total of 1 1/2 hours.

for some reason it's been harder to let him self soothe than it was luci. maybe because she was better at it, maybe because she didn't wake as frequently, maybe because she didn't have the reflux for so long (i wasn't worried with her that the crying caused pain)...maybe because there was no big sister to wake up during the process...maybe maybe maybe. who knows. all i know is that i've had a headache & an eye twitch for over 3 months now and i'm spent. i know where the phrase 'i'm so tired i can't see straight' comes from. i need to sleep. we all do. our family dynamic will be better for it.

wish me luck with day 1, night 2.

ps. i have 5 month photos...just no energy to put together that post yet. it'll come...better late than never.

like a sister

We were SO lucky to have a visit from our friends the Tankborns this weekend. Jen & I have been bffs for so long that she's like a sister...we grew up together, we went to college together (although we had healthy separation, I might add ;), lived together in our 20s in Chicago... She's just like a sister. And despite the 1000+ miles that now separate us, the changes in our marital status & kiddos...it's still the same when we get together.

And yes, I am as tired as I look...although I'm not wearing any makeup so cut me some slack...

And it seems our kiddos feel like cousins ;)

Unfortunately no big family photo! Per usual I didn't break out my camera until last night, and we said good-bye this AM. Boo. We all had tons of fun, and Clay had a blast commiserating with someone who fully appreciates & understands my adorable personality quirks ;) Like the fact that I bought the biggest pan that Sam's Club had...because...why wouldn't you...even though it is so big it doesn't even fit on our stove...and then they had a good laugh about my recent two week stint as a vegan...(needs to be a post unto itself)! There is something very warm & fuzzy about how our friendship continues to endure & grow despite such significant life changes and distance. It's like a security blanket I hope I never outgrow.

Thank you so much Jen & Paul for coming down & bringing that sweet boy with you...love you more than you know!

lu logic

this post has been almost 2 months in the making now cause I never have time to sit down & do justice to her burgeoning personality...so I've decided to let go of my ideally composed post, and just get this down & out before it's no longer fresh!

for the longest time we'd be talking about something and she'd say, "what is [x] about?"
examples...
me: time to make dinner!
l: what's dinner about?
me: it's about food!
-
l: whats mom about?
me: i don't know, what IS mom about?
l: um...probably about play
-
l: ouchie.
me: what is ouchie about?
l: corners

scene: uncle sunidh & aunt brooke had just been for a visit. aunt lee (who is married to uncle keith) was coming next...
me: lu, who is coming to visit next? aunt lee?
l: and uncle su-keith?

scene: me feeding gus in the chair, not being able to see l on the stairs behind me.
me: where are you?
l: i'm frozing.
me: you are what?
l: i'm just frozing up here.
me: i don't understand. you are frozing?
l: yes. its about wind up toy prince. i'm frozing. (referring to an episode of Einstiens when the Toy Prince is frozen by the evil Mouse King)

scene: first attempt at candyland
me: so, here is how this works (proceed to explain the rules)
l: where is the lollipop?
me: no lollipop...just pretend, a game with pictures of candy
l: looooolllliiiiiiipoooopppp [tears]....i wanna looooolllliiiippoooooopppppp. is it in here? (referring to the plastic enclosed stack of cards)
me: no, those are the cards we use to play
l: i waaannnnnnaaaa loooolliiiiipooooooppppp....

scene: listening to 'mom music'. the song imma be by the black eyed peas.
me: imma be, imma be, imma be, imma be, imma be living the good life, imma be livin the good, good life.
l: mama be, mama be, mama be, mama be, mama be a good wife, mama be a good, good wife

scene: looking at the instructions to candyland
l: can you read the news? i love the news! i gonna read the news. i can follow the path!

scene: looking for anything not within sight
me: lu, can you go upstairs & get an [x] please?
l: um, probably not. you can do it.

scene: lu asking to do something...i think i didn't answer quickly enough...
l: can i [x]?
m: ummmmmm
l: did you hear what i just said?
[i often ask her to repeat what i just said when i know she isn't listening]

scene: riding in the car...the sun coming in down on her
l: NO THANK YOU SUN. NO. THANKYOU.

and a few fantastic luci quotes...
-first we have to change poops, then we go to the ball!
-i like mama instead of dad. i like mama and gus, not dad. i want mama instead of dad. then, a few minutes later, i like dad instead of mama. i want dad instead of mama.
-this is not a very special restaurant (@ Johnny Rockets)...i wanna go home
-what's on (or in, we weren't certain what she said) your nose, boss. (to her dad). are you boss?!?!?
-it's almost broken!!! it's almost be broken! (as the evil stepmother trips the grand duke in cinderella)

new tricks

our boy has some new tricks up his sleeve...

here

goes

nothin!

and just in case you don't believe the photos, I got it on video the next time...but I'm having some trouble posting it. check back soon!

10x

or more a day. for the last week.

luci: i PEED! i gotta go sit on the potty!
mom or dad: oh, you ALREADY peed? you peed IN your diaper?
luci: YES! i sit on the potty, i get a treat!
mom or dad: oh, see, you gotta tell us BEFORE you pee IN your diaper. we pee IN the potty, and THEN we get a treat.
luci: YES! and then i get a treat! and if i make poops in the potty i get a LOLLIPOP!

then we change her diaper and it starts all over again the next time she pees or poops...in her diaper, of course.

1000x

already today, as of 3p.

Luci: Hi Mom
Mom: Hi Luci
Luci: I'm not Luci, my name is Cinderella.
Luci: Hello Mama
Mom: Hi Luci
Luci: My name not Luci, my name is Cinderella.

Luci: Hi Mom
Mom: Hi Luci
Luci: I'm not Luci, my name is Cinderella.
Luci: Hello Mama
Mom: Hi Luci
Luci: My name not Luci, my name is Cinderella.

Luci: Hi Mom
Mom: Hi Luci
Luci: I'm not Luci, my name is Cinderella.
Luci: Hello Mama
Mom: Hi Luci
Luci: My name not Luci, my name is Cinderella.

Luci: Hi Mom
Mom: Hi Luci
Luci: I'm not Luci, my name is Cinderella.
Luci: Hello Mama
Mom: Hi Luci
Luci: My name not Luci, my name is Cinderella.


Luci: IT'S TIME TO GO TO THE BALL!!!!

repeat above, aaaaaall.daaaaay.long.

PS. Pompom & the baker are characters in Cinderella II, which we are currently borrowing from the library. And yes, she 'worked' on her computer through the entire conversation, successfully navigating her 'mouse' through the maze to find the cheese...we call it 'The Mouse Cheese Game', and it too is played, maybe, 1,000,000x a day.

lu the (k)nightrider

she's got style, what can i say? she wanted to ride her trike the other night...it was only like 6p but it was dark because a storm was rolling in. she put on her sweatshirt, glasses & ballet shoes & decided she was going to ride her trike around the grill on our tiny back patio until the rain started.

gotta love her. i sure do!

THANK YOU GMA & GPA PIERSE

A big THANK YOU to Grandma & Grandpa Pierse for coming down to help over the last few weeks. It was great for me to be with Clay on the day of his surgery without having to worry about the kiddos, not to mention the extra set of loving hands during his immediate recovery. We feel very blessed to often be at the receiving end of their generous gifts of time. Thank you Grandma & Grandpa Pierse.





Can you guess who wasn't into taking the photo?

and the correct answer is...

TEETHING!!! Teething pain was keeping GusGus (& Mom) up at night!!

I had considered it might be teething pain but really thought he was a bit too young for that to make sense. We went to hang out with our good friends the Lawrences yesterday, and sure enough super mom Miss Amanda felt his gums and noticed they were swollen on the left side. One trip to Walgreens later for some generic (aka non-recalled) acetaminophen and the boy slept more than he has since Wednesday night.

That said, he did fall asleep in his jumperoo again this morning while the rest of us were having pancakes at 8a, but he's probably got some catching up to do. If only he could do it when Luci was sleeping too, then I could be sleeping as well. Ahh, a girl can dream, right?

In other news,
HAPPY 21ST BIRTHDAY BABY SISTER BAYLEE!!! CAN'T WAIT TILL YOU ARE BACK ON OUR SIDE OF THE POND SO I CAN BUY YOU A COCKTAIL. MISS YOU!!

who needs...

[alternatively titled what the &*%#?]

a warm cozy crib with lights off and white noise on to fall asleep? not this guy...

the flash started to wake him...
but he was so tired he couldn't even open his eyes!


gusgus fell asleep IN.HIS.JUMPEROO. this morning at 8:45a (stormy day...that is why it looks dark out). are you kidding me? the last two nights have been beyond HORRIBLE. last night he was up every 20-40 minutes except for a stretch from 10:30p - 11:30p, and then from 3:30a to 6:10a (and that was because i gave up & put him in the swing). if we let him cry he screams to the point of coughing & gagging within a few minutes. and then we can't even get him settled when he pick him up & rock him. i tried elevating his crib again. it was no help. tried his new magic merlin sleep suit (maybe he's tired of the swaddle?), no dice. usually the paci works without fail and he goes right back to sleep...but not the last two nights.

my diet has changed over the last few weeks...i'm trying to eat fewer animal products and more plant based whole foods. but nothing significant about the last two days. he's had rice cereal twice, but the first time was like 4 days ago, then 2 or 3 days with nothing, then again last night. i just can't figure it out.

my only real guess is that he suddenly & rapidly started physically developing in terms of standing over the last week or so. he wasn't really bearing any weight on his legs just two weeks ago, and now he pretty much refuses to sit. he wants to be in the jumperoo or standing with you holding him. maybe he just can't let it rest at night? his whole body convulses and twitches...to the point last night that i wondered if he was having some sort of mini seizure. maybe he is going to be a physically focused loon like his big sis...

whatever the reason, all i can tell you is that this lack of sleep for mama is NOT.SUSTAINABLE. i'm glad it is a rainy day so i feel less guilty about lulu watching a bit of tv today...

and a mere 30 minutes later the nap is over. awesome.

wordless wednesday

Hang in there Dad!

See Luci 'working' on the computer like Dad? The big machine is called a CPM...it provides continuous passive movement designed to stretch out his new ligament...all he has to do is just sit in it 6 hours a day...are you laughing yet? Can you guess the likelihood of him sitting in such a machine for 6 hours a day? He starts PT today and hopefully they'll give him some continuous active movement to do...cause I'm afraid the passive movement isn't doing much for his not-so-passive spirit.

The ACL replacement surgery was on Thursday of last week. It went well, although his meniscus had been damaged by the ACL tear in such a way that it was irreparable. Long term he'll be fine, he just needs to diversify his workouts as he's not going to be able to log miles running he'd like to for the rest of his life. Hopefully this merger with United will enable us to move somewhere that has a bit more hiking and other outdoorsy things to do so he can feed his soul without running shoes. The hardest part of it all so far hasn't been the pain, but the lack of mobility. He's not well suited for a sedentary life.

And here is the rest of our week in photos...crazy eyed boy is getting used to his new-to-him highchair. The pedi told me to feed him rice sooner rather than later, but I just can't bring myself to do it. First comes solids, then he's crawling & walking...and then he's not a baby anymore! So we are taking our time. Plus, we've had enough going on, right? Feel free to validate me...those pedi remarks were just a suggestion...I'm the mama...right?!?!?

And the long awaited "beach" opened for preseason weekend use here in Family Utopia (the upcoming move has led to lots of reflection on my part...and Family Utopia is my new name for The Woodlands bubble that is our home for now). So yeah, she calls the pool the beach. And she had a BLAST despite the surprisingly cool temp. In fact, I've never had so much fun at a pool in all my life. The joy emanating from her was so intense that I wish I could have bottled it. I think we'll be spending lots of time at 'the beach' this summer - provided I figure out how to do it with two kiddos. I'm going to sign her up for 'learn to swim' lessons in early June so that we (Luci & I) both feel more confident about her ability in the water.

And lastly, we send a HUGE note of thanks to Grandma Pierse who has been here almost a week now. Her presence has turned a very stressful, exhausting experience into a very manageable, almost pleasant one (for the mobile ones of us, that is). Thanks, as always, for being there for us. :)

the y-park & other news

better known as the ymca. but luce loves her a park, so we call it the very special indoor y park... where the kids get to play in the kid playroom and the mamas get to go be strong & healthy in the mama room.

so the kiddos & i hit the y-park today with some friends. the mamas hit body pump, and while it felt great to work out, man...i've fallen farther than i imagined since the last time i took the class (2005 in chicago). despite the barely recognizable reflection staring back at me in the mirror and the muscles that just weren't capable of following directions, i became very motivated to hit the class a few times a week. the idea that i can/could be a mama & re-claim what i'm sure will be the new 'fit' version of my body is/was very exciting. luci finally seems to be ready for some independent time, and gus is surely to small for separation anxiety...right?

so i hit childcare to pick them up. i was anxious because i missed them, and i just really wanted to see them having a great time...

poor guster goo had the purple 'i've been crying a loooooong time' eyes that i'd never actually seen on him. i only knew what they were because they were a speciality of his big sis when she was a babe. he was being held, but he was not happy. and even when i took him he didn't calm down...which is very unusual for him. poor thing. i still have no idea what was going on. he's been okay the other 2x we've gone. boo. he fell asleep after about 5 minutes in the car on the way home & then woke up his happy usual self.

luce on the other hand appeared fine. no tears, happy to see me, but ready to go home. we started out the door...and then the woman asked to speak to me. uh oh. um, yeah. she hit 3 kids. and i'm guessing it was 3 kids that the care providers saw...i bet it was really a few more. they put her in time out for 3 minutes, and the woman said she went willingly to time out & fully admitted hitting. we had a talk about it on the way home & she told me "i didn't like those friends mom. i didn't." i asked why she didn't like them. she had no answer. i asked if she had wanted a toy they had, or if she didn't want to share something she had, or if they had hit her. "they didn't mom. they didn't." was all i got. so then we had a talk about being kind. she didn't seem too bothered by any of it...the hitting, the time out, or the talk.

humpf.

in other news...lead story on the local news is the cal/ual merger. it is as unofficially official as it can be. makes my heart leap. seeing o'hare and downtown chicago feels like home. and a teeny bit been there done that. and the thought of leaving here for sure gives me icy ball. or if i'm really honest, it all makes me a bit nauseous. big changes to come, big changes. i'm so comfortable here. i still don't love the weather, but i'm super comfortable. but as i type those words i remember that growth usually is uncomfortable. and now i'm just unsettled.

and speaking of uncomfortable, the weatherman just said our forecast is shifting into the humid 90's and they are here to stay. and now there is a commercial for fire ants. which are in such full force in our yard that we can't even play outside till clay takes care of them. awfully handy that this merger is happening at the beginning of my least favorite season here. must be His way of reminding me that He's in control and only wants good things for us. now if only I weren't such a control freak that thought that might comfort me to the point of feeling settled again. but i'm guessing i won't...for quite some time.