two months

this is on his way to a smile...he's got kind of a lopsided grin :)

our sweet boy celebrated his two month birthday on sunday the 28th! he's a handsome fella, if you ask his mom...or his grandmas...or his sister.

stats @ 2 months:

weight: 13lbs, 12.8oz, 90%

height: 26inches, 75 - 90%

head: 15inches, 50-75%

he's sweet. i don't know how else to describe him. unless his belly hurts, he's hungry or he's sleepy, the boy doesn't really cry. if you talk to him, he'll smile & talk back. he loves to coo and say something that sounds like "ahgoooo". within the last week he's started to be ready for bed around 7p which has made my life MUCH easier. he's also trying hard to develop a longer morning nap, but sometimes he wakes up after 45 minutes to hang for another 20 minutes before realizing, oh yeah, i still want to sleep. i'm hoping that within the next week he'll have it down. then in the afternoon some days he has a long nap and others he takes 2-3 45 minute naps. he was eating every 2 hours up until the last week when we started stretching it a bit more, and for the most part we are up to every 3 hours now.

he loves his new bouncy seat & his little woodland friends. he likes the play mat star, but after 3 or 4 minutes he gets a bit overstimulated.

i think he's already outgrowing his size 1-2 swaddlers that i bought. anybody need a sams club size box of 1-2s? As for clothes, the 3 month outfits are LONG gone, and the 3-6month ones are on their way out. he's in 6-9 month pjs...for the next few weeks anyway.

night time has been mostly two feedings a night, although last night i stretched him and fed just once. his pedi says once should definitely be sufficient for a nearly 14 pounder. i'm just worried it was a one night thing given he was a bit more sleepy from his vaccinations (just two, we are on a modified schedule).

and, starting last night, he's largely soothing himself to sleep. i wait until he's drowsy, wrap him in his blanket and then put him in his bed. the plan is to let him cry for 5 minutes, then soothe, then let him cry again, and so on until he's asleep. so far we've had one 5 minute crying period. other than that, he's just drifted off into sweet slumber by himself. i'm happy to teach him self soothing skills, but must admit i sort of miss our rocking sessions...

cousins

we missed baby austyn, but it was fun for 3 out of the 4 rosonke cousins to play for a few days this week! well...at least, brooke & i thought it was fun...

to say that luce had a hard time with a little tot in the house would be a massive understatement. she definitely had lots of 2 year old moments. complete with a line from the cat in the hat..."you get out of this house!" - nothing like making family feel welcome! and then the incredibly dramatic, "i never get to play with my toys"...but not in a loud bratty way, in a sullen, sad, woe is me kind of way. yet not more than 10 minutes after we dropped him off at the airport she said to me, "i miss asher". and tonight when it was back to just the three of us at home she said, "member when asher was here? that was fun."

photos

I have lots of thoughts I'd like to post, but I don't have lots of time. Even WITH my mom & and MIL visiting over the last few weeks. So in lieu of my usual cathartic brain dump, here are a few photos to enjoy...

my helpful big girl...
my adorable lil boy...

my annoying bandage...

after I took the thumbs up photo, I decided I really felt more thumbs down about it...



but I'm not really complaining. The surgery went well. Other than the fact that they somehow sprained my entire hand during the procedure, the pain is less than expected. I have to keep this same bandage on until 3/1. Um, yeah. So my hand just isn't as useful as it needs to be (diapers, dishes, etc). Thank goodness for loving, selfless grandmas!!!

can I ride it?

Last week Luci pensively asked if she could ride the balloon she got from Chick-fil-a. Like she knew the answer would be no. When we responded, sure, you can try (we wanted to see what her plan was) she promptly stood on the string of the balloon and really thought she was going to be hoisted into the air. She was VERY upset when nothing happened. Luckily, Dad came to the rescue and one of her little zoo monkeys was promptly lifted into the air after being secured to the string.

The phrase "can I" is heard about 100x a day lately - for example...can I...

go with you? Doesn't matter if we are going to the store, to shower, to Gus's room, to the backyard, to get the mail, with Dad to work...she wants to come along.

feed it? Dad got us a dozen roses for Valentines Day...well, 11 for me and 1 for Luci. And the flowers came with a packet of food. She asked what the packet was, and upon learning it was flower food she asked, "can I feed it?"

have some? Usually meaning some food or drink item.

wear it? Referring to a dress up outfit, a tutu, or new clothes for Valentine's Day from Grandma & Grandpa.

step on it? Usually on something she knows she isn't supposed to step on (toys, Gus blankets, etc).

play with it? Usually referring to an instrument she knows she can't play until Gus is awake.

and finally, in a bit of tmi...
touch it? Looking at Gus's little boy part during his bath or mama's milk makers (that's what we call them these days) during nursing sessions. I take these particular requests as a 'teaching moments' to talk about private parts...

my mother

more and more, i remind myself of my mom. and i adore my mom, so that must be a good thing then, right? i swore i'd never do this, but here i am...

i've started buying random stuff on sale & hoarding it in the closet. then i bring it out whenever i need (clay hates when i use that word in this context. but right now, it really does feel pretty close to a need) to. said 'surprise' is totally all about helping me get through the day. when we need something to mix it up, boom, there we go. i'm running on 3.5 hours of sleep...literally...i wish it was an exaggeration...and it is 6p. it has been a LONG.DAY. i'm almost there. my girl trina is coming over in 30 minutes to help out with bedtimes & keep me sane. so what do we do until then?

my sweet girl just opened her first ever box of 64 crayons (thank you kroger for $2.99)...the kind with the sharpener. and the inner office supply geek in me realizes i've been this way since childhood. there is just something AWESOME about opening a new box of 64 crayons. i opened it VERY carefully...i don't want a crinkly box top for the remainder of its life. er, i mean, luci doesn't want that ;) watching her pull 20 of them out at a time is giving me angst.

come to think of it, i bet that wouldn't bother my mother in the least. that part must be from my father...

ah, and it is 6:10 and she's all done coloring. that didn't work so well, uh.

it's not a tumor....

ugh...i have a benign tumor on the tip of my thumb!! i thought it was just a blood blister that wouldn't heal (for 10+ weeks). it bled all the time all over everything...so finally at my 6 week postpartum check up (all is well, btw) i asked dr. j about it (due to clay's prompting)...and she said, hmm, you need to see a hand doctor.

and per the hand doctor, nope...not a blood blister, turns out it is a pyogenic granuloma...it happens in up to 5% of pregnancies per this random website (so it must be true ;). so a week from tomorrow i'm having it surgically removed. FUN TIMES. i'm opting for 'twilight' anesthesia instead of the full blown or just the local (all three were options). full blown anesthesia really knocks me for a loop, but i'm a total wimp and hearing/seeing/smelling the coring of it (core it like an apple...to use the doctors words) and the cauterizing of it would probably make me throw up. so twilight it is.

the most annoying part (at least, pre-surgery most annoying)? i can't nurse gus for 24 hours after the anesthesia...so i'm pumping like it is my job to get enough milk stored up for him. more fun times. especially when i've been trying to regulate my supply a little better to his needs.

i'm sure the most annoying part after surgery will be the intense pain & the inability to use THE TIP OF MY THUMB!!!

and, in better, more fun news...my boy is smiling...amanda managed to get some proof for me!

to see more click here. thank you talented miss amanda. don't i have talented girlfriends? i'm such a lucky girl. even if i do have a tumor on my thumb!

family photo

the entire texan contingent of the pierse family decked out in their colts gear...courtesy of the indiana contingent...with the lovely addition of our home away from home family (the lawrences...minus one very important 4 year old)!

we are sorry for your loss grandma pierse...we supported the colts with all our hearts at a party FULL of saints fans just for you!! you can see that luci was pretty upset about the loss too...

PS - that is a 6/9 month onsie that lil booty is filling out!! 12lbs, 8oz at 6 weeks!

PPS - oh, and the faux pearls that go so well with my t-shirt? they remind me which side to start feeding on next...classy, no? ;)

time

is something I don't have much of lately. I'm giving myself 10 minutes to post...so if it isn't very eloquent please forgive! something that has been reaffirmed over & over again in the last five weeks is that the board room phase of my life was certainly much easier. so as a throw back...here goes an executive dashboard view of my life...everything you need to know in one place, readable in 10 minutes.

-my days are longer/more difficult than my nights now. i NEVER dreamed that would be the case. yes, the nights are sleepless, but the days, oh the days. two kids crying. feeling like neither one is getting 100% of what they need, wondering if i'm giving the right one the right attention at the moment...ugh.

-my house is even more of a disaster than usual.

-gus is now on prevacid...i hope it works. he loves the way it tastes (strawberry).

-luci is sick...fever of 100.4, CONSTANTLY runny nose, watery eyes...she's not seriously ill, but just a bad cold need a lot of snuggle time kind of sick. there is seriously snot EVERYWHERE.

-desired snuggle time is rough when there is a 5 week old who also needs attention, and to be kept away from his sick sister best as possible. dr. brooke says we don't want to walk the sick newborn path. this is impossible to explain to the sick 2 1/2 year old.

-trying to balance needs tonight, my baby largely cried himself to sleep at 5 weeks old. not more than 5 minutes at a time, but more than i wanted him to. i wanted to just rock him in the dark until he fell into sweet slumber. but his 2 1/2 year old sister needed some snuggle time & a nice book read. and she got it.

-we are interviewing care providers starting this weekend. finding potential providers has taken a lot of time. i'm looking for someone just for about 10 hours a week while i work. i was supposed to start back up on Monday (yeah right), but my awesome boss is giving me a few more weeks. i'm terrified that no matter how wonderful said care provider seems to be that my baby is going to be shaken. (he cries. a lot.) thinking about this keeps me awake at night. and not when i'm already awake tending to a child. the kind of extra painful awake you have when you know you need to be sleeping.

-my friend Amanda came over last night to help me out during bedtime and give me the adult interaction i am so missing. i love her for this, and for many other things.

-my friend Sara took AMAZING newborn photos of Gus. they are so amazing I don't want to share them until i pick one for his birth announcement. and all i need to get that done is a bit more TIME. until then, here is a sneak peak.


my 10 minutes are up. off to bed in hopes of some sweet slumber of my own.

tone

please note that my last post was intended to be read with a slightly humorous stand up comedian kind of slant...not an angry crying over my drink at a bar kind of slant. i realize it was not my typical post, but it is a blog about our journey...and this is our journey.

and i STINK...i missed by boy's one month day. boo me. so tomorrow i'll be taking a chair photo of him just a few days late. sorry sweet boy. in all fairness, if you let me sleep a bit more i might do a better job staying on top of things ;)

in other news, i think i might try to switch his acid reflux med. it has been 2 1/2 weeks and he's still screaming in pain way too often. last night from 11:40p to 2a. fun times. it is important to keep a sense of humor after listening to your child scream in your ear for 2 hours in the middle of the night no matter what you do to comfort him. a big thanks to clay who got up with luci this morning (as he often does...but he also managed to keep her quiet this am and stay out of our room...which is a challenge) so i could sleep in till 9a. running on 6 hours of sleep vs 4 makes a big difference.

state of the union (the pierse union, that is)

ugh. caring for two kids is kind of kicking my ass. especially when clay is gone. then they really kick my ass. and when clay is home, if they aren't kicking our asses, we are usually kicking one anothers ass. ugh. i'll be honest...we have a rough time caring for very small children. we love them and each other, are incredibly grateful & thankful for them and each other, but somehow they don't bring out the best of us too much of the time...neither in our behavior toward them, or toward one another. we're working on it.

that said, i flew solo yesterday and we had a GREAT day. bedtime went well, and both kids were in bed by 8:30. i felt like singing "iiiiiii am a champion" last night. tonight, both kids in bed by 8:30 again, but I feel like i just ran a marathon with a horrendous time of 12 hours. not that i've ever run a marathon. but if I did it would probably take me that long. and i'd be proud that i finished, but not so proud of my performance. time outs were had, and time outs were protested. hitting occurred at bedtime (she hit me...we don't ever hit her) so there was no story. there was too much tv and not enough quality play time. she pushed gus. twice. a second attempt at ballet class ended very quickly in tears. and resulted in no naps for mom & luce. and a prematurely woken up gus. the lone highlight was fun play-doh before lunch. we had a play-doh birthday party with cake, ice cream, brownies, milk, donuts and decorations. mom, dad, luci & gus attended. gus's servings were very small, because he's just a baby. it was lovely. but it was cold & rainy so there was no outside time...and the girl needs her outside time. and we have most of the day on our own tomorrow before Clay gets home. i'm crossing my fingers for a better performance. and praying for patience and an attitude of gratitude.

random things about luce i forgot in the last post...
-she can spell Luci Pierse and also knows what street we live on
-she can count almost to twenty. at some point twelventeen and niventeen start recurring...sometime after fifteen. and yes, she says twelve correctly & in order. interesting, no?
-she can say her abc's (almost accurately) and can identify all letters & numbers 95% of the time.
-she did her first identifiable drawing last week - of a smile face. i'll scan it & post it here one of these days.
-she pretend nursed Dobby today. she pulled her shirt up, hugged Dobby close, and then proclaimed it was time for the 'other side'.
-and despite our horrendous day, she did tell me that i was a nice mama, and so i should 'clap for yourself, give yourself a hand' (from the Little Einsteins)

gustopher notes-
-we are still feeling out nicknames for him...beyond gus, that is. gussy, bugaboo, gustopher, G, lil man and sweet boy are all being tossed around at this early point
-he's finally stopped screaming for an hour or more after every feeding. now he screams maybe just 15 minutes, and just after a few feedings instead of all of them. maybe the Zantac has kicked in now 2 weeks after we started taking it, or maybe he's just getting stronger...don't know, don't really care, just am grateful for his increased comfort and my resulting decreased anxiety.
-he usually eats every 2-3 hours, and eats 3 times a night. he often stays awake for longer than i'd like after at least one of the night feedings.
-he spits up A.TON. like projectile. even more than luci did. it is very mucousy, and comes out his nose...poor lil man. he gets freaked out when that happens.
-he likes the swing
-he already self soothes at times...that-a-boy ;)
-he'll sit contentedly in his bouncer/swing/crib for quite long periods if he's not fighting a burp, reflux, poops or exhaustion/over stimulation
-had an eye infection that seems to have finally turned the corner to recovery. think lots of neon green matter.
-likes to be swaddled if he's tired or over-stimulated. other than that, he doesn't need it.
-he's a good eater. my milk supply could feed a village of infants so we are struggling with that, but i'm playing with different methods to get it down and we seem to be making progress. i remember with luci at 3 months everything got much better so i'm keeping my eye on what i hope will be the 3 month prize...easier eating & the ability to start sleep training.
-he grunts & groans a lot, but has started to make little contented noises while nursing...after he's finished choking on the crazy let-down, that is.
-reflux makes him a crazed, head bobbing, back arching, leg pushing, hand flailing fool. it is not so fun. and sometimes it catches him off guard and instead of being mad he makes the saddest little frowny face you ever did see...it melts my anxiety away and just makes me sad that he's in so much pain. i usually tell him that reflux is a 'dirty trick' when he frowns like that. (a favorite Myrtle the Great saying). eating should not cause pain...it IS a dirty trick.
-he may have given me a social smile yesterday. a few, actually. but it hasn't been repeated so i can't be sure. he does track though and he thinks his mama & sister are beautiful...i can tell by the way he looks at us ;) and that smile??!?!?! it is going to break hearts!!! (just not your mama's heart ...do you hear me, boy?)

2 1/2 years

Our Lucipea is 2 1/2 years old today! I couldn't decide if I wanted to make a big deal about her half birthday or not, but in the end we decided not. She's had quite her fill of cookies, donuts, cakes & brownies lately, so best to keep the sugar away!

Notes at 2 1/2 years...

-the girl has THE.MOST.AMAZING.MEMORY. Seriously - she memorizes library books (and I mean LONG books) after a few nights. Sing a song to her just a few times and you can count on her repeating it 10x a day from then on. (ABC song, itsy bitsy spider, twinkle twinkle little star, lullaby & goodnight, rock a bye baby, jingle bells, away in a manger...just to name a few). She regularly quotes movies, books & shows totally out of the blue. When we have visitors she remembers where they sat at the dinner table (she still remembers where her friend Noelle Determan sat almost a year ago and where Myrtle the Great sat last summer).

-She has good manners, for the most part. She certainly understands the expectation, and if she doesn't use her 'nice words' you can bet it was a choice and not just something forgotten.

-She love, love, loves her FP Little People...better known as little friends by her. She has 2 houses, a Tree House & a school bus, and she plays with them about 1/2 the day I'd say. They go to bed when she does, and get up most mornings shortly after she does.

-After some encouragement from her Grandmas, she now mixes in her ponchos (horses), her Nativity scene Mary, Joseph & baby Jesus, and Cinderella with the little friends. Didn't occur to her crazy mama to mix different types of figurines for even more fun...mama wanted to keep them all separate...cause mama is anal like that.

-She loves her some Grandpa bread. Grandpa Pierse makes the BEST bread in perfect little Luci size loaves.

-She is GREAT at pretend play. For example she just delivered me some Grandpa toast on top of a Laughing Cow Cheese package cover (serves as the plate) and warned me it was too hot to eat. I originally asked her for some tea, to which she replied, "No tea today. No, not today."

-She likes TV well enough, but wants to 'turn the TV off' more than she wants it on. She prefers the one on one attention & engagement she gets when the TV off. Which is great...but I'll be honest, sometimes I wish it was a better babysitter. Or maybe that I had a better babysitter...that is really what I wish for! If I could only get those Grandmas to move to Texas...

-She can take her PJs off by herself if she really wants to, but usually doesn't. She cannot get dressed on her own yet...but it isn't really something we've worked on.

-She does put her own shoes on, and 99.9% of the time the shoes are on the correct feet.

-She still hasn't successfully done anything on her own without Mom or Dad...except going to Miss Amanda's house or Miss Trina's house. We tried a 30 minute ballet class a few weeks ago...she was so excited, literally for DAYS...and then after 5 minutes in the classroom the instructor brought her out sobbing. She wants to go back though, so we'll try again this week. She loves her ballet shoes, her tutu from Miss Amanda, and the class is full of her little friends...so I'm hopeful she'll get the hang of it. Oh, and the promise of the instructor delivered lollipop at the end of class also seems to be a motivating factor. "I go to ballet class. I go with Miss Nikki. No, no Margeaux, not today (her friend Margeaux wasn't there the week she went). I get a lollipop; maybe a purple lollipop!"

-Funny phrases..."I hurt my this one" (pointing to whatever body part ails her), "What is this one all about" (when she sees something new), "I want my this one" (pointing to what she wants), "Over dere" (over there), "That's funny" or "That's a funny one", "I put this one on".

-She refers to her little brother as "GUUUUUUUUUSS", and says he is "SSOOOOO Little" or "SOOOOO teeeeeny"

-She gets obsessed with one book/movie at a time. The Cat in the Hat obsession has been replaced by a new love for The Lorax. We go from one Dr. Seuss story to another it seems.

-She received several instruments for Christmas and LOVES all of them. We often have family band time. She plays the piano and assigns us each another one of her many instruments. Then we all play together to the demo music on her piano until she hits the stop button and says "freeze" or "stop", then we all stop until she hits play. She love, love, loves family band time.

-She's wearing size 5 diapers. She's interested in big girl panties (today we even put them on over her diaper), but her mama is not so interested in training her right now....maybe when Gus is sleeping through the night...

-I often ask her the same set of questions after each activity...to the point where now if I don't ask, she'll prompt me to ask her. For example after Dad takes her to the park, if I don't ask, she'll say, "Any friends there today? No, not today. No friends today." Or in the morning she'll say, "What I dream about? I dream about DADDY!!!"

-She may or may not be done with her afternoon naps. I can't tell if she hasn't napped well for 2 months because of all the new baby / visiting family hubub, or if she really doesn't need the sleep, or maybe some combination of the two.

-She definitely knows she has 2 sets of grandparents, and she thinks that is pretty cool.

-She knows her full name (Lucia Rosonke Pierse) and that she lives in The Woodlands, TX.

I know there are many more things I would like to document, but given it is Thursday & I started this on Monday, I'm just going to post!

Most of all, I hope that if/when my Luci reads this someday she can somehow comprehend the joy she brings to our lives. I love you my pea.

on our own

Grammy (my mom), Luci the ballerina & Gus... Grandma & Grandpa Pierse with Luci the princess & Gus...

Well Clay is on the way to the airport with his parents...we are officially on our own. We have been SO blessed to have great help from our families for just a few days short of a month. Barb & Don arrived on Dec 22nd and stayed until the 30th, my mom arrived on the 29th and stayed until Friday the 15th, Barb came back on the 14th and Don came down to join her on the 17th and they are just headed to the airport now. I'm so grateful for all of the help...my mom & my in-laws have set a high bar for how Clay & I hope to help Luci & Gus one day. Hopefully they like us enough to want us around!

I hope we are ready...luckily my first solo run with both kiddos won't be for a few days yet, and it is a shorter trip for Clay so I'm thinking positive thoughts and trying to convince myself I can handle 2 kids for 3 days/2 nights by myself. I realize I'm far from the first person to ever attempt such a feat and probably sound like a giant wimp, but there you have it. I'm very much looking forward to the day (er, night) that Gus sleeps for more than a few hours at a time...while at the same time trying to savor his newborn-ness. Motherhood is extremely rewarding for me, but far from the easiest thing I've ever done...

siblings much?

luci...

gus...luci.... luci...

gus...

We hit the pedi's office today for Gus's 2 week check up...at 2 1/2 weeks, cause I guess that is just how you roll with #2 (forgot to schedule the appointment until Friday...and he was 2 weeks on Monday). He's a whopping 10lbs, 1oz already! Luci wasn't even back up to her birth weight at the 2 week appointment! He's wearing 3-6 month one piece outfits because his arms, legs & feet are so long, but can still fit into the 0-3 month two pieces...in fact, the little pants usually fall off cause his waist isn't big enough. He's been diagnosed with reflux just like his big sis...boo. The good news is that I was able to recognize it early this time so hopefully we'll skip over the 5 hour crying jags with him.

Sleep is...um...coming along? He'll usually go 2 1/2 - 3 hours between feedings at night, and could go even longer during the day if I'd let him...which I don't...hoping that he'll get the hang of the sun & the moon (day & night in Luci's world).

Eating...he's got that one down as evidenced by his weight.

Luci is hanging in there...trying to get used to her new normal. Sadly I think nap time is a thing of the past for her. Ugh. The timing could have been better (for me, anyway).

And Mama? Mama is tired. And achy. I keep falling asleep in the rocker during that 11p/12a feeding...and wake up 2 hours later...after Gus only ate on 1 side! Ugh. So that kind of throws the whole night off. Tonight I'm going to bring him into our room for that feeding & watch some TV to stay awake...cause apparently I'm getting too old to sleep comfortably in a chair.

she likes him

at least, most of the time! we are getting there...his little circumcision no longer needs gauze as of this afternoon. it is nice to put a check in a box. now if we could get rid of the cord & getting him sleeping more at night i'll feel like my head is above water again.

luci is adjusting...she loves him, has a hard time being gentle & quiet, but can't stop saying, "gus is soooo little". she HATES it when he cries...it gives her anxiety. i think the hardest thing for her is having me split my time & attention. i'm hopeful that as gus & i get more into a routine i'll be able to do the same for luci...and while it won't be what she used to have, i'm hoping it'll provide her with the extra bit of security she seems to be missing right now. sleep time has become pretty rough...at least for mom & dad. she cries/fusses for the first hour of nap time, and most days she doesn't fall asleep. at night she doesn't want to go upstairs, and the getting ready process is rough, but then she generally falls asleep pretty quickly (due to lack of naps).

our other pea just wants to be held. ALL.THE.TIME. until this morning we'd never gotten him to sleep longer than 45 minutes without being held. but this morning i dug out my amazing miracle blanket (i tried it last week to no avail) and lo & behold the boy slept 3 hours straight. THANK YOU GOD. this mama was starting to lose hope on ever sleeping again. luckily my mom is here & has spent most of the last two nights holding him so that i could catch up on some sleep & give luci the attention she needs during the day. clay is back to work so i'm back to being the primary care giver to both kiddos. she's missin her daddy, that is for sure, but i also think she's loving that i am giving her the attention she's accustomed to.

on that note, i'm going to go enjoy some downtime while both kiddos are in their beds. ha, spoke to soon. gus is up.

Blessed

Augustine Rutherford Pierse. Better known as Gus. Born 12.28.09 at 1:58pm, weighing in at 8lbs, 10oz and stretching 22 inches. His birth was MUCH easier than Luci's, and so far he seems to be a sweet mellow boy. He's totally got his days & nights mixed up, but we're going to keep him anyway ;) Mom, Dad AND Luci are all in love.

deja vu

Well no labor yet. The most likely scenario at this point is that Clay & I will check into the hospital tonight to start the long induction process. Gus is still high and my cervix is not ready, so we'll first work on that tonight and then start the pitocin around 5a tomorrow. It is the exact same plan that we executed for Luci's birth. I'm planning to opt for the epidural more quickly this time; with Luci I tried to fight it for a long time, and once I finally gave in I went from like 4-10 cm dilated in just a few hours (apparently I wasn't good at relaxing on my own)....as opposed to the 8 hours it took to get from 1-4cm. At least that is my plan for now...we'll see how it changes.

My mommy brain is broken. Ever since my epiphany I've been thinking about delivery way more than I'd like. I keep trying to focus on just getting him here safely & in good health. That works for awhile. In terms of giving birth, ignorance is bliss. I can't believe anyone does this more once. I can't believe I'm doing this more than once! I'm trying to keep my eye on the prize, eye on the prize...keep trying to focus on the baby....focus on the baby...he is absolutely worth it, after all. I don't question that for a minute. It is just hard not to think about 'the alligator closest to the canoe' as my handsome husband would say.

I feel sort of selfish for evicting him before 41 weeks. When your doctor tells you it is time, that is one thing. Intellectually deciding that this date works best for our family is more difficult to feel confident/good about. But if we wait until 41 weeks (which I suspect we would), we'd get home from the hospital on Monday 1/3 or Tuesday 1/4, and Clay would leave for work on Thursday 1/7. I definitely don't confident/good about that. So as long as the hospital has a bed tonight, we'll stick with what we decided weeks ago, and trust in God that it'll be all right.

Merry Christmas

Santa brought Luci a new trike...a Kettler...and this afternoon Clay took her out to work on pedaling. She pedaled (with help) to the park, but on the way home when encouraged to ride again she responded, "The bike is pretty hard. I screamed." Dad replied, "You screamed?" Luci said, "Yes, I was sad & mad. I walk."

Nice, Santa.....real nice! ;)

never coming out to play

I swear my babies never want to come out & play! Gus is still sky high, and I'm not at all dilated or effaced. For now we are scheduled to hit the hospital Sunday night with the exact same action plan as we had for Luci...except it'll be 12/27/09 instead of 7/24/07.


Clay & I held hands today as we finished up shopping for one last Christmas present, and he couldn't get over how swollen they were. He said he felt like he was holding a strangers hand...that they felt like man hands! My feet are huge, and I can't even really wear my watch which is normally quite loose. My poor skin has stretch marks that never happened with Luci and I weigh quite a bit more than I did with her. Looking good....fun times.

mommy brain @ 39 weeks

That is Luci's surprise face...we practice different emotions often. For example, when she's upset we ask her to show us a happy face. Clever Mom & Dad...we know ;)

Here we are...large & in charge of nothing...otherwise this lil man would be out playing already. Yes, I know we've seen a lot of this shirt, but it is really the only one that is long enough to cover my baby belly so it's getting a lot of air time lately.

I've had some SERIOUS mama brain as of late. I've been trying to finish up work in order to take the next 6 weeks off, and I swear I've never been so DIM in my life! This last project has required some good critical analytical thinking - usually my favorite kind - and instead I find myself stumped & distracted at every step. I finish one logical thought and find that my mind is blank. I have to force myself to the next thought, and then I can't remember what my last thought was. My mind has LITERALLY been empty. Like my brain resets between every task and I can't remember what is next or what was last. It's frustrating & has been getting me down. I've always prided myself on being 'sharp' and I feel a bit lost with the level of distraction that's been plaguing me.

But last night I had an epiphany as to why! Clay & I were in bed chatting and he asked what we needed to pack for the hospital (no, the bag is still not packed) and what our plan was should Gus come say, in the middle of the night. I said that we'd call Amanda and I'd grab Gus's homecoming outfit and a few things for me to wear and that would be that. And then I commented that I hadn't given it a lot of thought. And he was all, "WHAT?!! How can you not be thinking about this stuff?"

So that got me to thinking about packing a bag. And what I would need. And I thought, "What do I need in the hospital? What did I use last time?" See...the next step after needing the bag...is the hospital...because I'm in labor. And if you've had a baby, you know what that means. It means ridiculous pain, followed by more pain, and maybe a needle or two stuck in your spine. It means pushing with all of your might until you are so exhausted you think you can't do it anymore, but you have to because you know that is the only way to end the pain. Luci's birth took 26+ hours. 15 hours without an epidural. 2 needle pokes in the spine (followed by a spinal headache, a blood patch followed by a continued headache for the next 10 days), and 3 hours of pushing with an oxygen mask on. With the epidural turned off for the last 90 minutes or so I could do a better job of 'feeling' when to push. At the end I was literally begging & pleading & crying to Clay & Dr. J to just please get her out. JUST.GET.HER.OUT. The ordeal finally concluded at 9:11pm with Dr. J using the vacuum. From 9:10p to 9:11p (the vacuum) I was in unconscionable pain. According to Clay I was howling like a wild animal. And even if I try, I absolutely CANNOT recall the physical pain...it was literally unconscionable. All I know is that I kept thinking it had to be over soon because I could not survive another second of that level of pain...yet it continued. And then, finally, she was out. And I didn't care about anything other than the fact that it was over. Isn't that terrible? Didn't even occur to me to ask if she was okay...I was just exhausted & done.

The next thing I remember with any clarity is my sister Baylee's face when our family came in to see Luci. Everyone was oohing & ahhing over Luci...except Baylee. She looked at me and asked if I was okay with the most disturbed/distraught/concerned look that I've ever seen. I must have looked as bad as I felt.

So - before I forget - back to mommy brain. While I don't remember the physical pain of labor, when I think about going through it all again I get a bit panicky. Like heart racing, breathing fast panicky. My conclusion? Mommy brain = self preservation. It is required to function during these last few weeks with the impending labor possible at any time. So thanks blank mind...thanks for protecting me and keeping my anxiety down regardless of the inevitable. I'll gladly take a temporary diagnosis of dim over panic attacks to get me through the next week. Now I'm actually hoping my mommy brain will be in full effect a week from tonight if I'm still pregnant. Cause that boy is coming out one way or another a week from tomorrow.

hanging in there

Appointment today went well...Dr. J let me complain, and then asked me if I was going to make it until the 28th (our mandatory evacuation date). I told her we were, unless she could tell me we needed to do it earlier. She asked for medical reasons or sympathetic reasons....I said either would do as long as she didn't specify which ;) Then she told me she'd see me back next week unless we met at the hospital first.

I'm having TONS of contractions, but they've all been unproductive. Surprisingly painful, but unproductive. My cervix is soft, but I'm not at all effaced or dilated. My fundal height measured 36, so he has dropped a teeny bit from last week. But overall he seems pretty content in there, despite my many 'practice' contractions.

But the best news of the last 24 hours? Clay is home now until January 7th for some serious family time. I'm so grateful and feel so blessed...what a wonderful way to spend the holidays...

Happy Saint Lucia Day!!

Today is St. Lucia day! To celebrate, we opened a gift from Grandma & Grandpa Pierse right after we woke up. Or, I should say, after we snuggled in Mom's bed over an episode of The Little Einsteins (takes awhile for me to ease out of bed these days). I told her it was a VERY special day, and that we had a present to open. With 100% seriousness, her eyes got HUGE, and she said, "it's Jesus's BIRTHDAY!!!"...cause she knows we can't open the presents under the tree until His birthday. It was adorable...and then I was worried she'd be disappointed, but she wasn't. Then I very excitedly exclaimed that it was St. Lucia Day! And that she had a present to open. And that after the present we'd go have a SUPER SPECIAL breakfast of donuts! "Strawberry! And a chocolate one!" she proclaimed. Cause I didn't have the ingredients to make Lucia buns, see. So special donuts had to do. She seemed fine with it....

Photo and video editing at www.OneTrueMedia.com

the return of tails?

I'm guessing they won't last long, but I was pretty excited when she requested 'tails? tails?' today.

I hadn't realized she has my, um, lovely, forehead until I saw this photo...

Clay has one more trip before he starts family leave. I was lamenting having to do things on my own for too many days, and then I realized that this is the last few days Luci & I will have alone. And, of course, realizing that makes me weepy. So we are about to have some super special Mama/Luci time. There might be ice cream involved. Or donuts. Or ice cream & donuts (not on the same day, of course...even I have limits.) Or Christmas Cookies. I haven't quite decided yet. There will certainly be a great deal of Play-doh, Little People friends, stamps, painting, and tea parties involved. And with this new found perspective, I'm looking forward to spending a few final days of one on one QT with my favorite little lady.

silence is....

most likely a warning when a spirited 2 year old is involved....

see...she does know that her smiley stamp is for paper...

That is what I get for leaving her to play in her playroom while I attempt to address Christmas Cards!

"contracting beautifully"

Was what I heard this AM at my OB appointment. Every 4 minutes, for the 20 minutes I was hooked up to the machine. Dr. J was super excited & said if I was 4cm or more she was sending me straight to the hospital. I couldn't help but laugh a bit because I contracted with Luci too, and yet never progressed on my own. I let myself get excited for about 10 seconds, and then reminded myself that I knew better. And sure enough, I'm still not at all dilated.

Oh, and my fundal height went from 34 last week to 37 this week. Which means he's not dropped into the 'ready, set, go!' position. So instead I just get to enjoy uncomfortable non-productive contractions which feel like they are pushing him in the wrong direction!

That said, I think it might be time to pack a bag anyway. I'd hate to have to call home & rattle off all of the things I want to bring. Seeing the contractions on the paper made it a bit more real that he really will be joining us here on the outside one of these days. I can't believe I get to have another baby!! :)

Not that you care,

but I'm starting to swell up like a balloon. My watch, which is usually quite loose, left an imprint on my wrist tonight. I'm down to flip flops, tennis shoes that I can barely tie, and Dansko clogs that are supposed to be loose but are a bit snug. And my toes hurt. Why do my toes hurt? Oh, and the itchy skin...ugh, the itchy skin...right in the middle of my back. The sides of my hips actually hurt this AM from sleeping on them...all of that weight. Ugh.

I think he's dropped a bit. I was supposed to have an appointment tomorrow, but I've changed it to Wednesday so that Luci can stay home with Dad and I can go by myself. But don't worry, I'm going to check my blood pressure in the AM and if it is too high I'll call my OB and let her know in case she wants to see me.

Stay tuned for Luci's birth story. I want to get it documented before I have two experiences...I'm afraid with this mommy brain I'll get them confused.

It sounds like I'm complaining, doesn't it? I'm really not - just documenting our journey. I've actually never felt more grateful or blessed in my life. Balloon body & all :)

points for originiality!?!?!

Heard this morning:

"Somebody is having a baby soon! Either that or there is a summer festival somewhere missing its prized watermelon!!"

What do you say to that??? Um, thank you?

In other news, there might be the teeniest, tiniest snow flakes you ever did see falling deep in the heart of Texas!!! YAAAAAYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!! I hope it accumulates a bit!!

disarray or work in progress, you pick

You pick, as Luci would say (we are all about giving her a choice these days). She often gives us random choices throughout the day...Dobby or Sally Mama? You pick.

Today, the sprightly one of the marriage is happy with all of our work in progress. The organized, tidy, timely military one is just short of losing it with the chaos we've been living in now for a few weeks. Every room in the house with the exception of our bedroom, Luci's bedroom and the bathrooms are somehow stuck mid-project.

Gus's room is obviously a huge project. And now I've got this crazy painting bug & I'm painting everything in sight 'blissful blue'. Clay walked in today as I was supposed to be finishing the second & final coat on the last items so we could check a project off, and instead he finds me painting a lamp base. I tell him I'm going for that custom coordinating look. He tells me I am indeed going for something, but that it's more headed in the direction of crazy...he then asks me if I'm going to paint the crib blue. Hahaha, funny man.



The dining room turns into my sewing room when I have sewing projects...and I've been mid-project for about a month now. Um, yeah. But I did go purchase the final supplies need yesterday, so again, that's progress in my world!

The living room is now donning a gorgeous Christmas tree that I talked sweet husband into getting this morning, even though it's going to be up for a month & he's skeptical about that. The lights are on the tree, but no decorations. So that's a project. And we need to set up the nativity scene...yet another project.

Then there is the packing away of Luci's clothes that no longer fit, since I know I won't be up for such a project after Gus is here. So there might be half full plastic storage containers all over waiting to be filled with clothes that have yet to be sorted &/or washed.

The laundry room is so full of baby clothes that we can barely maneuver in there. Why do I feel the need to wash every single thing, despite knowing it was washed before it was stored? And to boot, half of the clothes won't even fit him for months...so why must I wash it now to re-store it?!?!?!

Combine all of that with Clay's own list of projects to prepare for a potential move come March and I guess maybe we have disarray!?!?! Right now our kitchen island which is made of tile is missing a ton of grout. He's about start repair work and attempt to match the existing color. Wish him luck.

So, I suppose I should get off the Internet and finish a project or work before our 2 year old wakes up.

36 weeks

The time is flying by!! We have been B.U.S.Y. trying to get Gus's room together. We bought a gently loved dresser/changing table that I painted 'blissful blue'...and I'm now painting GUS letters and a shelf the same color, and maybe a lamp. After that we need to get the full size mattresses out of there (we are storing our guest bed) and the rocker moved in. Not sure how Luci is going to feel about the rocker leaving her room, but hopefully it won't be too traumatic.

He now has a wardrobe large enough to clothe 2 babies for months (thanks to Asher & Wally), his own boyish crib sheets, a new mattress (Luce did a lot of jumping on hers and I decided I'd sleep better knowing that he was sleeping on a firm, safe, mattress), and a new to him changing pad with new covers. The room is a brownish color with blue (dresser & wall items) & green accents (rocker). I wish I'd gone with a bit deeper of a blue, but hopefully I'll like it when it all comes together.

Clay has 2 more trips and 1 more Navy stint before he starts his Family Medical Leave on 12/18, and then he's off until 1/8 given a well timed week of vacation starting 1/1. Grandma Pierse is coming down this weekend to help me out while Dad works too many days in a row for Mom to energetically handle on her own. Thank you, Grandma Pierse. Both Luci & I are very excited to have you.

I've gotten lots of things checked off the list...I washed the car seat cover (although now it is emitting this creepy icky chemical odor) & got the newborn insert all set up, washed the bouncy seat cover, and all of the burp cloths, etc. On the list of to-dos include finishing a blanket I'm making for him, quite a bit more laundry, and then some method of organization for his huge wardrobe with clothes sized from newborn to 9 months. Luci never really wore the newborn size, and I'm guessing that he won't either....

Why, you ask? Cause the ultrasound I had done last week estimated his weight at 7lbs, 1oz. At 35.5 weeks!!! Where do these giant babies come from?!?!??! My cervix is soft (it's getting ready), but I was not at all dilated as of today. Although my fundal height did shrink from 35.5 to 34, so that means at least he's moving in the right direction (down & out!!)

So, given all that I'm hoping Gus comes on his own 12/18. I'll be 39 weeks at that point. And if he decides to hang out forever like his big sis did, we'll evict him on 12/28 so that Clay has almost 2 weeks at home with us. I really want to give Gus a chance to share a super special birthday with The Big Guy so we won't kick him out before then. But...please big lil boy...be a good listener...come play on the 18th!!

christmas card photo favorites

Professional photography session? $300+.

A talented bff willing to take time out of her busy day (on her husband's day off, no less) using love & talent to [seemingly] effortlessly capture the spirit of our family at this moment in time? Priceless.

Of course I can't reveal the big winner...but here are some of my favorites.


Photos by Amanda...

Want to see more? Click here.

Happy Thanksgiving

Happy Thanksgiving to our friends & family! Luci & I are watching the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade & I wish I could record her little commentary. So far my favorite has been, "dancing! instruments! costumes! like I do! (she's wearing her Halloween costume, of course)"...which was followed by "I want more costumes! More dancing!"

Clay just left for work but he'll be home tomorrow after naps (or mid-afternoon in non-Luci speak). He found out that the scheduled hotel is booked full so he's staying on cruise ship tonight! It's a first! I'm hoping they at least feed him a good old fashioned Thanksgiving meal (although I'll have leftovers waiting for him regardless!).

It's hard to live so far away from family everyday, but especially on days like today. I wish Luci could be playing with all of her cousins & grandmas & grandpas today. Miss you, family.

That said, this afternoon Luci & I will head out to celebrate Thanksgiving with three other families for the third year in a row. I am so grateful that although we can't be with our far away family that we have a local family of friends to celebrate with. Thank you, friends.

Happy Thanksgiving.

luci phrases

goofin off after church... yes...still in skirts & flip flops in late November...

she's a big fan of Dad's bike pump...

more goofin.

an action shot...

she has so many these days, I want to jot them down before they are gone forever...

-"words, words, words" when she looks at words in a book, on a container, or at the prayer on her wall
-when you ask her a question & she doesn't know the answer she responds, "uh?"
-"no i like a dark" when we turn the light out
-last week while at Chick-fil-a ordering a water, she shouts out "DECAF! Mama need a DECAF!"
-"no push (or kick) mom, no push dad, no push a peoples, no push a ANYone"; usually said after pushing
-"poops, poops, in dad's hair, poops, poops, in mom's hair, poops poops in dad's CAKE!"
-"no I like a loud"...she hates it when I flush in a public restroom...it is too loud for her I guess?
-"no I [insert any number of activities or things here]" "YES I [often insert same activity...10 seconds later]"
-"let's go outta here, mama! fore dat mouse comes!" in reference to an episode of the Little Einsteins when the bad mouse comes to take the prince's winder-upper (yes, they really call it that).
-"whew. dat a close one!"
-"Whozat, mama", "Whazat, mama"
-"Nameiz?" she wants to know the name of every character or picture of a person or animal in every book or pretty much everywhere in general.
-she references things all the time. She disassembled her doll pack-n-play structure and turned the supports into drumsticks "like Quincy does. like Marina does." (reference to Little Einsteins & The Fresh Beat Band). She references her activities to shows, books, and things Mom & Dad do...ALL THE TIME.
-She quotes movie lines as a joke. When saying Thank You sometimes she'll break into The Sneetches "Thank You, Thank You, Thank You"
-She even mimics the intonation of movie lines. "A CaaAAAT, in a HaaAAAT"
-A non show/book reference: we pray for all family members every night. Including Uncle Ben & Aunt Chelsi, and baby Austyn. I ordered some sweet fabric to make Austyn a baby blanket. I showed it to Luce, and explained it was for Uncle Ben & Aunt Chelsi's baby. I then asked if she remember their baby's name. "Uh?" she said. I said, "baby Austyn". "Like prayers!!" she said.
-she takes pretend trips a thousand times a day. for forever she's been going to Grandma's house. then she started going to see Rocket (of the Little Einsteins, again). Now she sees Rocket on the way TO Grandma's house!

-let's go make a tower daddy, make a tower (they make pillow towers)

-daddy fix it (in reference to a boo boo), daddy make a all better.

-"FRIENDS! I like friends!" whenever we go somewhere with a bunch of tots...regardless of whether or not we know them ;)

Saying good-bye to the paci is still happening...she regularly asks for her baa during the sleep time routine. She usually cries for 30-50 minutes before falling asleep now, and during naps she just can't settle herself down when she wakes up after a short time. She used to almost always nap 2+ hours and we've been lucky to get to 45 minutes this week. It's been fun times. Live & learn...lil Gus will be saying good-bye to his paci at a much younger age...